


Strike the Match

by Hypnobyl



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Starts Erin/Phil, Yatesbert - Freeform, domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 16:19:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 22,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8216515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypnobyl/pseuds/Hypnobyl
Summary: At first, Abby has a hard time figuring out if she's just jealous or if Phil is really a big ol' bag of dicks. Slowburn Yatesbert.





	1. Chapter 1

Abby glowered at the helmet sitting on the desk before her. Despite her best efforts, the damn thing refused to operate at peak efficiency. To be honest, the damn thing sort of refused to operate at all. The lights turned on, but very little else functioned, and she was very near to just giving up. Holtzmann was the real technological genius, so she ought to leave inventing well enough alone. She rubbed her forehead and shot nearly a foot in the air when a hand landed on the back of her neck.

“Easy there,” a familiar voice murmured.

Abby did her best to calm down, but physical contact with Erin had always elicited an escalated heart rate. In high school, she’d been drawn to Erin not only as a fellow outcast but also because there was something about Erin’s smile that made her want to cause the expression as often as possible. Unfortunately, Erin had never seemed to return her feelings, so Abby was content to be just friends.

“Jesus, Erin. You scared the poop out of me.”

“I guess that makes me a T-4 entity, huh?”

Abby snorted her derision. “Sounds about right.” She twisted to get a better look at Erin, who wore a yellow sundress and carried a delicate purse. Her heart lodged momentarily in her throat as she wondered for whom Erin looked so nice. “Hot date?”

“Phil,” she replied, a little shyly. “He said he wants to apologize.”

“That jerk?” She regretted her fervent response the moment Erin’s expression drooped. As little as she thought of Phil, she never wanted to see Erin look dejected. Still, she didn’t want to backtrack--to look like she cared too much about Erin’s love life. As a friend, she could express disapproval, but she couldn’t actively dissuade Erin from doing what felt right.

“He’s trying. I think he honestly regrets how he acted.”

“He better.”

Erin pushed a few strands of hair behind one ear and offered a hesitant smile. “Thanks for caring. It means a lot, Abby, especially after… before.”

Abby waved a hand. “It’s in the past. You did save me from the realm of the dead. Kinda hard to ever be angry at you again.”

“Would you wait up for me?”

Abby nodded with a smile. She’d do most anything Erin asked. While she’d crushed on Erin when they were children, nothing compared to the complex feelings now swarming her gut whenever she heard Erin’s voice or caught the twinkle in Erin’s dancing blue eyes. She watched Erin exit the firehouse and then rested her forehead on her desk. A long suffering groan escaped her, attracting the attention of Holtzmann, who putzed at some contraption with long blades. The sight was minutely frightening, but Abby’d seen Holtzmann create much more intimidating machines.

“Something the matter, Not-Too-Shabby?”

“Y’know, sometimes your nicknames get old, Jill.”

Holtz shrugged. “I just haven’t found the right one for you, that’s all.”

“We’ve known each other how long?”

“Not long enough, apparently.”

Abby admitted she had a point. After she’d been cast adrift during her PhD program, she’d been lost and lonely until Holtzmann barreled head first into her life. She still remembered a much younger Holtzmann enthusiastically shaking her hand--rather, vibrating her arm out of its socket. Now, she didn’t want to picture life without her little buddy.

“Sorry to interrupt you.”

Holtz flapped a hand and leaned her cheek into her palm. “Tell Auntie Jilly what’s going on.”

“Nothing’s going on.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Seriously. Nothing.”

“Those ga-ga eyes you were shooting Erin’s butt beg to differ.”

“I do not make ga-ga eyes.”

“Fine. No ga-ga eyes, but you were definitely ogling. And I don’t blame you. Her ass is top-shelf. So is yours, actually. And don’t get me started on Patty’s--”

“You just like asses, Holtzmann.”

Holtz reached for a screwdriver and resumed working. “Can you blame me? You put me in a building full of fine-ass ladies and expect me not to notice?”

“Not helping.”

“I didn’t think there was anything that needed my assistance,” Holtz drawled, still idly fidgeting with her gear.

“Look, remember how I never said anything about--”

“Ah-ah-ah.” Holtz smushed her finger to Abby’s lips.

“Exactly,” Abby stated as she drew back and tugged her wrist over her mouth. Holtz’s fingers were always covered in something or another that she really didn’t want to ingest. “What I’m going to tell you is like that. It goes absolutely nowhere.”

“What happens in Vegas.” Holtz saluted. “What’s shakin?”

“I may have developed strong feelings for Erin.”

“She’s a great gal.”

“Like romantic feelings.”

This gave Holtz pause. “And she just went out on a date.”

“Yes.”

“Well, shit. Why didn’t you stop her?”

“Because I’d like her to be happy.”

“She can be happy with you.”

Abby rolled her eyes. “She’s straight.”

“What?” Holtz toppled comically to the ground and clutched her sides. “Downton Abby, you need to get your eyes checked.”

“Excuse me?”

“Look, you didn’t hear it from me, but she definitely likes the ladies.”

“You didn’t…?”

“Oh, no. I know to keep my sticky little fingers off the team.”

“Are you saying I should, too?”

Holtz picked herself up and dusted her knees off. “I’m saying that I’m a polyamorous lesbian more interested in one night stands than an actual relationship. Can you imagine the havoc that could wreak on one of you monogamous types? You, though, have my blessing to ask her hand in marriage.”

“I mean, maybe you’re right. Maybe the team should be off limit. That way there’s no awkwardness.”

“You’re already in it deep, my friend. Now that you’ve said it out loud, you’re going to be painfully aware of everything you do around her. How’s that not awkward?”

“At least she’s not aware of the awkward.” Abby folded her arms defensively and stared Holtzmann down. “I didn’t tell you this so you could talk me into telling her. I just… I wanted someone to know my pain.”

“Known and noted, pal.”

Abby settled back down to work, but her thoughts drifted constantly to Erin, who was most likely out enjoying her date with Phil. Stiff Phil who probably couldn’t dance. Who probably flopped around on top of Erin when they had sex. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to banish the image of that from her mind’s eye. They were a celibate couple, she decided, and he never took his clothes off, not even to shower. Underneath that v-neck was another v-neck. She knew that.

0-0-0

Just after midnight, Abby yawned and checked her phone. There was no text from Erin, and she was running very low on energy. She had promised Erin that she’d wait up, but she had her limits. Hopefully, Erin would be home by morning, and they could hash over the details of the date. This would make her uncomfortable, as she really didn’t need to know much about what Erin did with other people, but she desperately wanted a connection with Erin. If she went to sleep quickly, she wouldn’t have to worry so much about what Erin was doing with Phil this late at night.

He never took his shirt off, she reminded herself. They probably talked a bit, and then Erin went back to her apartment. While she and Holtz had moved into the firehouse, both Patty and Erin maintained their own separate living spaces in addition to the bedrooms constructed for them on the second floor. Why they wanted to waste money, Abby didn’t understand--but she supposed that living in an old building that had only recently been renovated for permanent residents might not be appealing to everyone.

She sighed and stood up, deciding to call it a night. As she did so, the door to the firehouse creaked open, admitting Erin, who looked a little worse for wear. Her hair was mussed and her lipstick smudged, but her face lit up when she spotted Abby by Patty’s library space.

“You waited up!”

“You asked me to,” Abby replied, trying to hide the obvious pleasure she felt. “How was it?”

“Strange.” Erin crossed the room and plopped onto the couch, dragging Abby down with her. “Are you tired?”

“A little, but I’m definitely awake enough to talk. Spill.” This would be agony, she realized, but she’d bear it just to hear Erin talk. “So, strange? How?”

“He was super sweet. He held the door for me and pulled my chair out.” Erin smiled wistfully. “He even listened when I spoke to him.”

“That’s great.” There wasn’t much enthusiasm in her voice, but Abby did her best to seem interested.

“We talked, and he apologized probably a half a dozen times.”

“Only six?” Erin leaned against her shoulder, and all the fight went out of her. “Seems like quite a changed man…”

“I think so. It’s so different from before. He actually wanted to kiss me.”

Abby was glad Erin’s attention was on the ceiling rather than her face. She couldn’t stop the furrowing of her brow at the idea that someone with open access to Erin’s lips could be so stupid. Regaining control over her features, she managed to ask, “Are you seeing him again?”

“Maybe? Yes…? He said he’d call me.”

Hating her curiosity, Abby murmured, “Did he kiss you good night?”

There was a moment of hesitation that Abby couldn’t decipher before Erin answered: “Yes.”

“Well, I’m happy for you, but we should get to bed.”

Erin kissed her cheek, and Abby’s entire body felt tingly as she stood up. It was all she could do to keep from holding a hand to her cheek and floating to the second floor. Instead, she followed Erin up the stairs and cursed Holtzmann, who was right; she did have ga-ga eyes for Erin’s ass.


	2. Chapter 2

On Thursday night, Abby collected a basket of snacks from the corner store. While the others always offered to bring food to movie night, they always made awful choices. She’d never forgive Holtzmann for bringing thirty dollars’ worth of plain Pringles, nor Patty for trying to broaden her palate with takeout from all different kinds of local ethnic food joints. Although Patty claimed that goat foot was the best part of the meal, Abby wasn’t convinced. She generally didn’t want her food to look like its source material.

New York City might have been home to truly authentic food, but Abby’d been brought up on cheap imitation. She appreciated Patty’s efforts to culture her, she really did. That said, she could do without a Taste Adventure, as Patty called it, every night. Movie nights were a time of comfort and team building.

She carried her purchases back to the firehouse and up to the common room on the second floor. There was a small kitchenette directly adjacent, as well as the tiny hallway that led to the doors to their personal quarters. Things were a bit cramped up there, to say the least, but Abby liked the coziness of it all. She’d spent a lot of time alone during her PhD program and even through the first few years of working for Higgins. To have people around almost all the time was some sort of wonderful dream.

Holtzmann was already crashed out on the couch, her body sprawled across the cushions. Her positioning made it impossible for another person to sit down, but Abby knew she’d move as soon as she was asked. Even without prompting, Holtz sat up. She eyed the bags in Abby’s hands and waggled her eyebrows.

“Did you get the stuff?”

“Depends on what you mean by stuff.” Abby handed her one and let her rifle through the contents.

Holtz grabbed a small bag of Swedish Fish and crowed her victory. “Thanks, Abby.”

“What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t know your favorite kind of candy?”

“I don’t know. What kind?”

“Rhetorical, Holtzmann.”

“Why ask a question if you don’t want an answer? What kind of scientist are you?”

“The kind that don’t have time for your bullshit,” Patty replied for Abby as she entered the room. “I brought some movie choices.”

Abby prayed that none of them were Ken Burns documentaries. “Yeah?”

“I took pity on y’all. We got The Great Mouse Detective, as requested by Holtzy, the new Halloween remake, and The Bridge to Terabithia.”

“You know my vote.” Holtz folded her hands behind her head. “I wanted to be Rattigan so hard when I was a kid.”

“Of course you’d want to be a rat.”

“He’s not a rat. He’s a mouse,” Holtz replied with a frown and a glare. Patty waved off her frustration.

“My vote is for Halloween,” Abby put in. She looked forward to cuddling up with her friends on the couch, and a scary movie meant that Erin might hide against her shoulder. Using a scary movie to increase proximity was perhaps a little cheesy, but Abby was of the mindset that if it wasn’t broken, don’t fix it.

“I’m down with that.” Patty glanced around. “Anyone seen Erin?”

“I’ll check her room,” Abby volunteered and headed down the hall before either other woman could comment.

She rapped her knuckles on Erin’s door, which opened immediately. Erin lifted a finger and gestured to the phone tucked against her ear. Abby waited quietly, idly rifling through the meager knickknacks on Erin’s dresser. The one that made her smile most was a framed picture of them in high school. Erin had the dorkiest braces, and she wore an ugly Christmas sweater--despite the picture having been taken in May. They looked happy, arms slung around each other’s shoulders and grins wide.

“It’s just that tonight is movie night,” Erin said. She shifted from foot to foot, not looking at Abby. “I know, I know.”

Abby pretended not to listen. Painfully aware of how hard this made her heart beat, she took a seat on Erin’s bed. It was all she could do to keep herself from picking up Erin’s pillow, holding it to her nose, and inhaling deeply. She bet it smelled of coconut, somewhat like its owner. She settled for watching Erin move about the room, deciding there was nothing wrong with this. If her eyes fixated a little too much on Erin’s chest, she could always claim she was just spacing out while she waited.

“I don’t know what you want me to do. I have plans… Please--Okay. Okay. If that’s what you want…? I will.” Erin ended the call and tucked the phone into her pocket. She offered Abby a sheepish grin.

Abby tilted her head. “What was that about?”

“Phil got us reservations at a really nice restaurant tonight.”

“But it’s movie night.”

“I know.”

“So, you’re not going, are you?” There was a pregnant pause, during which Erin couldn’t meet her gaze. Abby frowned. “Seriously?”

“I’m sorry…”

Crush or no crush, Abby had a hard time controlling her temper when she felt hurt. Her hand curled into a fist against her thigh as she spat out, “I guess when you’re making choices, we’ll always come second. Always have, always will.”

Erin’s expression crumpled. “That’s not true.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Abby stood and excused herself. “Your back-up friends will be here all night if you change your mind.”

“Abby, that’s not fair.”

Trembling in the doorway, Abby shrugged. She knew she was overreacting, but she just couldn’t stand the thought of Erin going out with stupid Phil again. “Don’t expect me to wait up.”

0-0-0

The first twenty minutes of the movie pass in awkward silence. Finally, Holtz nabbed the remote and paused the screen; she turned to Abby and stared until Abby shifted uncomfortably. Patty eyed the two of them curiously.

“Anyone want to let me know what’s up?”

“Nothing. I’m just upset that the whole team isn’t here. It’s no big.”

Holtz snorted. “Y’know, you didn’t have to yell at her. We heard that out here.”

“I know, okay?” Abby flopped her head back against the wall. “I just got so upset.”

“That’s definitely not the way I would woo a woman, but hey--we all have our own approaches.”

“I’m not trying to woo her.”

Patty set her hand on Abby’s knee. “Wanna fill me in?”

“Abby’s madly in love with Erin,” Holtz supplied; she didn’t flinch when Abby whacked her arm.

“Oh, yeah.”

“Is Erin literally the only one who doesn’t know?” Holtz clambered onto Patty’s lap and looped her arm around Patty’s neck. Patty gripped her back to better support her poor posture.

“I bet Kevin hasn’t noticed. He’s been too wrapped up in trying to figure out Facebook.”

“Guys, as much as I appreciate this very helpful support, can we just watch the movie?”

“Didn’t Erin go out on another date with Phil?”

“A-yup.”

Abby reached for the remote, which Holtz held too far away. When that failed, she sank down into the couch and stared grouchily at the frozen movie. “If he makes her happy, I’m not going to interfere.”

“Girl, she ain’t married. This is like, what, they third date?”

“Fourth,” Abby replied, a trace of misery worming its way into her voice. “Not that I’ve been counting.”

“You’re torturing yourself.” Holtz loosened her grip on Patty and flopped half onto Abby’s lap. “If you don’t say anything, then she’s never going to know.”

“That’s the way it should be. You heard me earlier. I’m awful to her.”

“What I heard was some hurt feelings, which you def need to handle better. But awful? Nah.”

“She made her choice.”

“She didn’t have all her options laid out for her.”

Abby gritted her teeth. “Look, she left me before, and I--I couldn’t handle that again. I’m not going to put myself on the line. I can’t risk it.”

“Did you know that you catch no fish if you don’t cast a line? Unless you’re using a giant net and trawling system.” Holtz paused. “Also, I suppose you could be spear fishing.”

“Baby, not helping.”

“I’m not trying to catch her, okay?” Abby wilted under their skeptical gazes. “Okay, so I might want to, but I’m not, like, actively attempting.”

“I’m just saying that maybe you should wait up for her and apologize.” Holtz shrugged. “But I’m crazy.”

“You are,” Patty confirmed, “but you also right.”

Grimacing, Abby nodded. “If I agree, can we just watch the movie?”

“Pinky promise.”

Holtz extended her pinky and linked it with Abby’s. Holding tight, she made a solemn vow that should Abby break her promise, all manner of horrible luck would befall all of them, and Abby definitely didn’t want to bring that horribleness down unto them, right? Abby’s response, however lackluster, was confirmation enough that she’d make the stupid apology. She didn’t believe that breaking the promise would do anything, but she knew Holtz would be disappointed--and that was somehow worse.


	3. Chapter 3

When Erin didn’t show up until the next morning, Abby’s temper had cooled and relit once again. She’d spent the time after the movie reconsidering her harsh position and deciding that she’d give Erin the benefit of the doubt. A night spent on the couch, however, had created both a crick in her neck and a really nasty mood. She sat at her desk, reviewing articles published by her peers, and just waited for Erin to step through the front door and get an earful of what she thought.

Despite her inner turmoil and angst, she couldn’t bring herself to yell when Erin straggled in just before noon with a cup of coffee, tousled hair, and bags under her eyes. Whatever had occurred the night before seemed like punishment enough for ditching them, so Abby did her best to release her frustration before approaching Erin. Erin watched her come closer with a small, tight frown.

“Come to yell at me some more?”

“No.”

Her eyebrows quirked together. “What?”

“Look, Er. You’re an adult. If you want to hang out with your boyfriend--”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“--I’m not going to stop you.” She wanted to, quite desperately, but she was going to be an adult about this. “Just… It sucks when you blow us off for him. It makes me feel like I--like we don’t matter.”

Erin ran a hand through her hair and shook her head. “You guys are massively important to me, I promise. I am really sorry I missed movie night.”

“Don’t let it happen again,” Abby teased. She lifted her hand to clap Erin’s shoulder, and Erin flinched slightly backward. Abby hesitated. “I’m not gonna hit you? I know I have to work on my anger issues, but I’d never hit you.”

The grin Erin plastered on her face looked forced. “I know.”

Abby very gently placed her hand on Erin’s shoulder. “Good. You need a minute, or are you ready to go over some calculations with me? Holtz is intent on proton-swords--we never should have let her watch Pirates of the Caribbean--and I’m pretty sure she’s going to blow the building up if we don’t do some checks and balances.”

“I might run upstairs first and take a shower.”

Watching her go, Abby sighed and plopped back down at her desk. She’d held up her promise, she thought morosely--not that it made her feel any better. While she was glad she didn’t explode at Erin, there was something about the conversation that didn’t sit right with her. Pushing the thoughts aside, she refocused on her work.

0-0-0

Three hours passed before Abby realized she hadn’t spotted Erin in the lab, yet. She set her work aside and, aware that both Patty and Holtzmann watched her, headed upstairs. When she reached Erin’s bedroom door, she rapped twice and waited.

“Yes?”

She couldn’t tell anything from Erin’s muffled voice--the other woman could have been sleeping or crying or anything, and Abby would have no idea. “You okay in there?”

“Yes.”

“Mind if I come in?” Abby touched the doorknob, prepared to enter. Erin never denied her entrance, and she expected nothing different now.

“Please don’t.” After a moment of silence, Erin added, “I’m changing. I’ll be out in a second.”

Abby frowned but stepped back. “Yeah, okay. Well, I’ll be downstairs. Stop lollygagging up here and join us. Unless you’re not interested in earning your paycheck?”

“I’ll be out in a second,” Erin repeated, her voice quieter.

0-0-0

“How’d it go?” Holtz sat atop her desk and peered down at her, eyes partially obscured by her goggles. “When’s the wedding? Can I be the ring bearer? Or would you prefer that role goes to a shelter dog?”

Abby rolled her eyes. “Nobody is marrying anybody else.”

“Really? Darn. I bought that dress for nothing.”

“You probably bought it to pick women up with at bars.”

Holtz shrugged. “Nice evasion, by the way. What’s going on with Erin?”

“She’ll be down in a second.”

Abby shoved Holtz off her desk; Holtz tumbled melodramatically to the ground, stood, and dusted herself off. When Holtz flashed her the bird, Abby stuck her tongue out and settled back in her chair.

“Very well, my liege.” Holtz tilted her head back and strode to her mess of scrap metal.

Shifting her gaze to the stairs, Abby waited for Erin to descend, which thankfully didn’t take long. Erin looked haggard but determined as she strode over and sat at Abby’s side. Her fingers brushed Abby’s wrist, and Abby fought to keep from flushing.

“What would you like me to look at?”

Abby slid a paper over before speaking--just to make sure her voice wouldn’t crack. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got it right, but you’re the one who’s great with the numbers.”

“They just make sense in a way that nothing else does.” After a moment, Erin returned the paper and nodded. “Looks good. Anything else?”

Although there was nothing urgent, Abby didn’t want her to walk away just yet. She thought quickly and came up empty-handed. Her stomach chose that moment to grumble, so she grinned. “Want to make a lunch run with me?”

For the first time since the night before, Abby saw Erin’s expression lighten into something believably cheerful. She shouldn’t give Erin such a hard time, not when Erin was so pretty with a smile like that on her lips. Snatching her jacket, she pit-stopped briefly to get orders from the other three in the building and then met Erin at the door.

“Potbelly okay?”

“I could really go for a sandwich,” Erin said. She made eye contact, and Abby’s heart fluttered.

“Cool. Shall we?” She extended her elbow, which Erin took. This crush was both painful and thrilling, as she realized exactly what she’d never have even as she enjoyed the contact between them.

0-0-0

Insisting on buying Erin’s sandwich, along with the rest, Abby hoped to make amends for her anger the night before. Erin thanked her as if she’d saved New York City again, rather than made a simple purchase, but she had an extra bounce in her step as they went to a table to eat. They could have gone back to the firehouse, but Abby wanted to spend a bit of time without Holtzmann and Patty analyzing her every move around Erin.

“So, how’d it go last night?” she forced herself to ask.

“Oh, fine.” Erin cleared her throat. “But I know it’s a sore area, so we don’t have to talk about it…”

“Gotcha.”

“What movie did you guys watch?”

“Halloween. The remake, not the old one. It was decent.”

“I know we fight ghosts all the time, but I’m so not into scary movies. If ghosts exist, then the probability that other monsters do, too, is actually fairly high. Not to mention the killer in that movie is actually a person.”

Abby smiled throughout Erin’s ramble, which ended only when Erin blushed and took a bite of her sandwich. “I don’t mind it so much. I bet Holtz could whip us up a weapon against anything. Besides, I’d protect you.”

Erin’s eyes darted sideways for a split second. “Thanks.”

Wondering if she said something wrong, Abby cocked her head. “Are you doing okay? You seemed out of it this morning, and now--”

“I’m fine,” Erin interrupted. “Peachy, actually.”

“Totally seem like it.”

“I am.”

“Noted.”

Erin fiddled with her sandwich. “But I really appreciate that you care. I just… I’m good.”

“If you need anything…” Abby wasn’t sure what she was offering, but she knew she couldn’t just leave Erin hanging. She really would do anything for Erin, who had leaped into a death portal to save her. As kids, she’d kept the bullies at bay with her scowls, fists, and sharp tongue--and that protective instinct hadn’t yet faded.

“I’ll let you know. Now, come on. You haven’t touched your sandwich.”

Abby scarfed down several bites and raised her eyebrows. Mouth stuffed, she said, “Begger?”

“Much.”

Once again, Erin seemed at ease, so Abby decided not to push. They spent the rest of the meal talking about their last ghost hunt, laughing about Holtz’s antics, and not mentioning a single word about the night before. Toward the end, however, Erin’s phone buzzed, and her expression fought to remain pleased as she checked the screen. Abby caught a glimpse of Phil’s name and looked away, also struggling to maintain her smile.

“Need to answer that?”

“I… Um, yes. I should say something.”

“I’ll be outside, okay? Come out when you’re ready to go.”

Abby threw their trash in the garbage and tucked Holtz’s and Patty’s sandwiches under her arm. She hurried outside and stared up at the sky, wishing desperately for patience. Phil ruined everything. She wondered why he couldn’t just stay well enough away from Erin. Shoving her hands in her pockets, she bemoaned her bad luck. Then again, she didn’t think she had much of a chance with Erin even if he hadn’t shown up, but it was nice to have someone to blame.


	4. Chapter 4

“So…” Abby knew she was doing a terrible job of seeming disinterested, but she was too curious to hide her feelings. “Are you sticking around for movie night tonight?”

Erin stared down at some paperwork for a moment, and Abby felt her spirits plummeting. That seemed to be answer enough. Once again, Erin was choosing her stupid boyfriend over the friends that had stuck by her through everything. That was just so Erin.

But then, miraculously, Erin nodded. “Yes.”

Abby swallowed every iota of hurt feelings and stood a little taller. “Really? Because I think Holtz is going to make us watch Muppet Treasure Island, and I could really use some emotional support.”

“IinvitedPhil,” Erin muttered.

“What?”

“I, um. Invited him. Phil. To movie night.”

Abby took a step back. “You’re letting him come to girls night.”

Erin met her gaze, and Abby noted the glassy finish of Erin’s eyes. “I love you guys, and Phil isn’t that bad. I want to have both, if that’s okay?”

Although Abby wanted to deny Phil entrance to their home, she sighed and shrugged. “It’s never an either-or situation, Er. You can definitely have both. I just sorta--It doesn’t matter. Okay. Well, maybe have him bring some good alcohol.”

Mentally, she added, _Because I’m going to need it._

0-0-0

Instead of something good, Phil brought some foreign beer that he claimed was among the highest rated in Austria, gifted to him by a visiting professor. No matter what he claimed, it tasted like pond water, and Abby couldn’t drink enough of it to get drunk enough to enjoy it. She held the bottle at arm’s length and glared at Phil, who didn’t seem to notice or care about her animosity. Erin, on the hand, was very sensitive and kept shooting her pleading looks. Finally, when Erin’s puppy-dog expression crept under her skin, Abby relented and relegated her frustration to picking at the bottle’s label.

“I swear, none of the undergraduates in my seminar course act as though they’ve taken the prerequisites.” Phil sipped his drink and nodded his appreciation. “Some of them don’t seem smart enough for Columbia, let alone the class.”

Erin tittered. “Well, that’s part of teaching, isn’t it? Helping the next generation of thinkers understand new material and eventually surpass us?”

“If these jokers ever even surpass Patty, I’ll be in shock.”

Patty leaned forward, her beer untouched. “Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying that of the women in this building, you’re the least educated.”

“Right, so that makes me stupid?”

Phil shrugged, and Holtz grabbed Patty’s arm as Patty tried to surge forward. “All I mean is that you don’t have the same pedigree--”

“Patty’s very smart,” Erin interrupted. “You don’t need a doctoral degree to be smart.”

He smiled at Erin and wrapped an arm around her waist. “That’s so optimistic, darling.”

When he kissed her cheek, Abby averted her gaze and stared out the window. This was worse than she imagined possible, and she had to sit there and pretend to have a good time, just so Erin wasn’t upset. Abby wasn’t big on squashing her own emotions for the comfort and happiness of others, but damn it, she was going to try. This was a single evening. One and done.

Patty, however, seemed to be finished with the hellish turn of their beloved movie night. She sputtered a few times in Phil’s direction, shook her head, and stalked down to the first floor on the pretext that there were some books she needed to organize--Abby caught the tail end of her excuse: before she ripped that stupid little boy’s head off.

“Y’know,” Holtz drawled slowly, drawing out the ‘o’ and leaning toward Phil with a wink that bordered on lusty. “You catch more flies with honey than being a dick.”

He frowned at her. “What on Earth are you talking about?”

“You ever listen to the Spice Girls, my questionably-good man?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“If you wanna be my lover…”

Abby snorted when Phil simply looked at Holtz, baffled. As he couldn’t follow up, she provided the rest of the lyric: “You gotta get with my friends.”

Erin cleared her throat. “Guys, can we go easy on him? I think it’s just--”

“I can take care of myself,” he interrupted.

“I know you can.”

“Then let me.” He stared at her until she wilted a bit and turned her head. “I know this is probably a lot for you guys to take in, but I think you’re being a little unfair.”

Abby’s brow rose. “A little unfair--”

“I came tonight because Erin assured me you wanted to get to know me better. But all you’ve done is made it clear that you don’t like me.” He stood. When Erin followed, Abby wasn’t sure if it was because of his hand on her elbow or because she wanted to leave with him. “I can see that I’m not welcome here.”

They left together, and Abby and Holtz exchanged confused, tense looks.

0-0-0

The malevolent spirit roared as it soared through the room, tossing tables, chairs, and bookshelves in its wake. Abby was a little furious that the ghost was destroying a library--her inner-bookworm was sobbing at the sight of bent pages and torn covers--but she was glad to finally have a healthy outlet for her frustration. She charged after the destruction with a roar of her own.

She got her proton beam on it and shouted for the others to come help her. Unfortunately, none of them were nearby, and the ghost was too powerful for her one beam to contain. As the three other ‘busters charged into the room, the ghost broke free and zoomed forward.

“Erin! Your left!” 

Abby sprinted after the spirit, but it moved a lot quicker than she did: the ghost skree-ed loudly as it barreled into Erin, tossing the slighter woman back against a bookcase. She hit the floor with an unhappy groan and didn’t move much. Abby hesitated; she ought to go after the ghost, but she wanted to help Erin. In the end, she couldn’t just stand there and listen to the pathetic whimpers, so she hurried to Erin’s side and dropped to her knees.

“Hey, Er.” She tentatively touched Erin’s shoulder before gently easing Erin into a sitting position. “What hurts?”

Erin gasped for breath, tried to speak, and failed. Instead, she pointed a shaking finger at her ribs. Abby hated how much the idea of touching Erin thrilled her and did her best to keep her thoughts pure as she gently moved her fingers over Erin’s sides. Based on Erin’s responses, she bet some ribs were fractured if not broken.

“Sweetie, we need to get you to the hospital. Do you think you can stand?”

Erin nodded. Despite her assent, she struggled, so Abby took her arm and helped her to her feet. Erin clung to her, and she both hated the ghost for causing this to happen and reveled in the close contact. Patty promised that they’d get this thing contained, hopefully before it turned into a Library of Alexandria situation. Trusting them, Abby walked Erin to the front of the library and down the front walk.

“I’m going to call an ambulance, okay?”

Erin flashed her an unsteady thumbs up. By the time Abby'd finished the emergency call, Erin had her eyes closed and appeared to be wobbling to and fro. Abby helped her sit on the sidewalk and instructed her to take as deep of breaths as she could manage.

“Er, you doing okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Erin panted.

“For what?” Abby immediately thought of Phil and his stupid v-necks but refused to make this moment about her insecurities.

“I let you down.”

The words were gasped and hard to make out. Abby clutched Erin’s shoulders and held her close. Although Erin could have been apologizing for anything, she chose to interpret them as an apology for missing movie night--for leaving her again. The sirens for the ambulance wailed closer, and she tilted Erin’s chin up. Were Erin single, she might have considered this an apt moment for a small, tender kiss on the lips. Instead, she kissed Erin’s forehead.

"I forgive you," she murmured as she buried her nose in Erin's hair. "For anything and everything, forever."


	5. Chapter 5

Abby sat in the waiting room and flipped through a People magazine. She wasn’t at all interested in the Jolie-Pitt divorce, but if she didn’t do something to distract herself, she’d be railing at the nurses for updates and berating them for not doing more. Doing either of those things wouldn’t do anything to help Erin, so she tried to focus on the article; however, she flinched to attention every time a phone rang or someone entered the room. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she knew it was Holtz or Patty, asking her for an update.

As far as she knew, nothing had changed since Erin had gotten admitted to the hospital. This in itself was enough to make Abby panic a bit--she thought all Erin would need was a once-over, a prescription for a painkiller, and an order to take it easy for a few months. Instead, Abby had been ushered from the room as Erin was wheeled deeper into the hospital. Because they weren’t family members, the nurses refused to tell her much of anything, except that Erin was resting and doing better.

Finally, after two hours of sitting alone and staring at Angelina Jolie’s pretty face, Abby’s patience was rewarded: a nurse appeared at her elbow with news.

“Ms. Yates?”

“Yes?”

“Ms. Gilbert has given her permission to have her health information shared with you.”

Abby sat a little straighter. “What’s going on? It was just a couple of fractured ribs, right?”

“Ms. Gilbert was brought in for rib pain, but during the examination, Dr. Parker discovered an untreated distal radius fracture in her wrist.”

“She had a broken wrist?”

“Yes. She was admitted to determine whether surgery would be needed to correct the setting of the fracture.”

Abby swallowed hard. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed that her best friend had a broken wrist. Then again, she never looked at Erin’s wrist--but she ought to have seen how Erin was holding the proton wand. Come to think of it, she had noticed that Erin was one-handing it more than usual, but she’d thought it was just Erin trying out a new approach--

“Ms. Yates?”

“Hm?”

“I asked if you knew how she might have gotten the injury. Has she had any recent falls?”

“No. Not that I know of.”

“She’s in room two-eleven if you’d like to see her.”

Abby barked out a quick word of gratitude as she all but sprinted down the hallway. She skidded to a halt outside Erin’s room and took a moment to gather herself. If she went in with her emotions all in a tizzy, then she might escalate Erin’s emotions. She wanted to be calm and steady, so that Erin could rely on her strength without hesitation. Standing tall, she entered the room.

Her resolve crumbled at the sight of Erin looking very small and pale in the medical bed.

“Er?”

Erin smiled crookedly, her eyes slightly out of focus. “Hey, Ab.”

“How you feeling?”

“Really good.”

“Got you on some good drugs, huh?” Abby drew closer and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Why didn’t you mention your wrist before?”

Erin glowered. “It wasn’t important.”

“Sweetie, it’s your health. Of course it’s important. What if something had gone wrong on a bust?”

After blowing a half-hearted raspberry, Erin looked away. “It’s always about the team, isn’t it?”

“No. I meant to you. I’d never forgive myself if you got hurt.”

“I did get hurt.”

“And I’m not going to forgive myself for it.” Abby grabbed Erin’s left hand, which was uninjured. The other was in a splint and sling. “Erin, you… you matter a whole lot to me, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Want to tell me what happened to your wrist?”

“It’s not that bad…” Erin frowned. “They don’t need to operate. They’re going to put a cast on it.”

“How’d you hurt it?”

“I must have fallen.”

“You don’t remember?”

“No. Obviously, it wasn’t a big deal. Small deal. The smallest. I didn’t even notice when it happened, y’know?”

Abby looked at Erin, but Erin wouldn’t make eye contact. She sighed and squeezed Erin’s hand. “Do you want me to stay with you? Or... Or do you want me to call Phil?”

“Please stay.” Erin tightened her grip. “Please.”

“Of course.” She’d never gloat, especially not in front of Erin, but she was beyond overjoyed that Erin chose her--not Phil. His stupid v-neck sweater was at home, and Erin wanted her comfort and presence in this time of trouble. “As long as you need. I just need to let Patty and Holtz know that you’re doing okay.”

“Tell Holtz not to burn the firehouse down.”

“I will.”

0-0-0

Abby gripped the Sharpie and scribbled her name onto Erin’s cast with a small flourish at the end. There wasn’t a lot of space on the cast, as Holtz’s signature had turned into a mural about abstract particle physics. Kevin had printed someone else’s name across Holtz’s design, while Patty’s name was large and golden, like her personality and necklace. This left Abby a small bit of space near the edge.

“Sorry. I feel like I should have asked you to sign first.”

“No, it’s fine.” Abby capped the marker and tossed it aside. “I’m just glad you’re on the mend.”

“Me, too.” Erin picked up and fidgeted with the marker. “I wanted to say thank you. Y’know. For staying with me in the hospital.”

“It was nothing.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

Abby narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Before I gave them permission to talk to you, I asked them to contact Phil.”

Temper flaring up, Abby took a step back. She wasn’t as special as she thought. “I--”

“He said he was too busy. He was in the middle of grading, and he couldn’t come.”

Her anger immediately redirected. “That son of a--”

“So, thank you. It meant a lot to me, that you were there.”

“Tell me you’re done with him,” Abby begged. Erin’s silence was answer enough, so she huffed and puffed and turned around. “Fine. Just don’t come crying to me when you realize what an asshole he is.”

“Abby--”

“No. I don’t want to hear it. He insults Patty, which is bad enough, but maybe he was nervous, so you don’t say anything. Then he blows you off at the hospital. At this rate, he might as well have been the one who broke your wrist in the first place! And you stay with him. I’ll never understand you, Gilbert.”

Erin stuttered a few responses, but Abby marched away without another word.

0-0-0

“Y’know…” Holtz draped herself atop Abby’s bed. They were alone in the firehouse, as the others had left shortly before--and Abby wasn’t ready for Holtzmann’s certified brand of silly advice.

“Please, Holtz. I know.”

“You do? Because I don’t. Tell me. Whisper thy secrets in mine ear.”

Abby rolled her eyes. “You’re going to tell me that I’m being too rough on Erin.”

“Do you think you’re being too rough?”

“Yes? No…? I just don’t know. I think she’s being--stupid. How could she stay with him?”

Holtz nibbled on her lower lip and propped herself up on her elbows. “You ever been in a situation like that?”

“No. I wouldn’t let anyone push me around.”

“It’s surprisingly easy to fall into.”

Abby plopped down beside her. “Yeah?”

“When I was seventeen, I was with this woman who really didn’t treat me well. But when she paid attention to me, it was like I was the only person that mattered in the world. I got it in my head that I was doing something wrong to cause her to go off on me. She was so goddamn nice, y’know? And how could someone that nice be so mean without provocation?”

“Phil’s not nice.”

“Maybe not to us.” Holtz shrugged. “Fact is, he’s probably exactly what she wants sometimes. Maybe even most times. We’re not part of the relationship. We don’t see everything.”

“I’ve seen enough. But you’re right. I’m not in that relationship. I already told her I don’t want to hear anything about it, and I’m standing by that. Unless you’re going to guilt me for that?”

Holtz threw her hands up. “You gotta take care of you. Nobody else will. Except maybe your mom.”

“She makes good soup when I’m sick.”

“Hell yeah she does. So, take a step back. Make sure you’re happy and healthy. You can’t help Erin--if she wants your help--if you’re not doing that.”

“Man, I was expecting you to say something crazy.” Abby flopped backward, trapping Holtz’s legs to the bed. “And there you go rolling out some good advice.”

“I’m a doctor. You can trust me.”


	6. Chapter 6

The dream she was having was pleasant--better than real life at any rate--so Abby was a little perturbed when her rest was interrupted. She snapped upright and glared at Erin, although the intensity of her frustration drained when she realized it wasn’t Holtz pestering her yet again. She cleared her throat and pretended like she was very busy and interested in the books on her desk. Erin took the hint and walked away without a word, and Abby felt like trash for not even trying to make things easier between them.

The problem was that she couldn’t look at Erin without thinking about Phil and getting angrier by the moment. She accepted that she wouldn’t ever be in a relationship with Erin, but she struggled to be content with the fact that Erin had chosen Phil--stupid v-neck Phil--to spend her time with. Erin was intelligent and funny and could do so much better than that pretentious asshole.

Gritting her teeth, Abby forced her attention back onto Holtz’s roughly scrawled notes. The blueprints looked feasible, but she always liked to give the calculations and theory a few passes before Holtz got to touch anything potentially explosive. The slighter woman’s passionate creativity inspired her to reach farther and higher than she thought possible--she just didn’t want to die because of it. Then again, she’d rather go out in the name of science than live a life without discovery and challenging the perceived limitations of physics and natural law.

“Brought you a sandwich.” Patty tossed a rolled package onto her lap.

Grateful for the interruption, Abby opened it up and took a large, unladylike bite. The flavors were wonderful, which meant Patty had been to that little food truck that had started showing up outside around lunchtime. Ghostburgers used a logo suspiciously similar to theirs, but since they got free food from the truck fairly consistently, nobody wanted to complain.

“Thanks.”

“Saw you lookin’ down earlier. This about Phil?”

“More about Erin, I guess.”

“If it’s about Erin, then you’re torturing yourself for nothing. Go talk to her. Or aren’t you friends?”

“We are,” Abby said, hedging and picking at her sandwich. “But I don’t know what I could say to her that would fix anything. She knows where we stand.”

“You really gonna make her choose between Phil and you?”

“You’re on his side?”

“I’m on the side of making this team function.” Patty shrugged. “If that comes with a side-helping of asshole, then that’s nothing new. I dealt with those every day at the MTA. What makes this job so different?”

“The ghosts.”

“Had those, too. Or you forgot how we met?”

“The wonderful company.” Abby offered her a shit-eating grin; Patty snorted.

“You know what this really about, right?”

“Phil.”

“Nope.”

Abby narrowed her eyes. “This isn’t another conspiracy theory, is it?”

Not taking the bait, Patty stated, “This about your crush on Erin.”

“Don’t say that so loudly.”

“Afraid she might hear?”

“Yes.”

“Well, maybe that’ll help her understand the crazy shit you two have been going through.” Patty pointed to the stairs. “Go talk to her. Don’t tell her if you ain’t so inclined. But you better say something before you tear this family apart.”

Abby stared forlornly at her food. “Can I finish my sandwich?”

“Fine. Finish your sandwich, then go fix your shit.”

0-0-0

“Erin?”

Abby halted outside Erin’s door, which was open far enough to let her see Erin huddled on her bed with none of the lights on. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to say to Erin, although she’d put a ton of thought into it as she ascended the stairs--but all her thoughts grinded to a halt in that doorway. She knocked again, this time gaining Erin’s attention.

“Come to gloat?”

Abby was a bit ashamed that she’d gained the personal reputation of a sore winner. The truth was, though, that she’d spent enough time beaten down that she tended to over-celebrate her victories. She rubbed the back of her neck and shook her head.

“No. Just to talk.” She hesitated. “Why would I gloat?”

Erin lifted her head, and Abby peered through the darkness of the room. Even without light, she detected a bruising and swelling around one eye. A lump lodged in her throat. Because Erin hadn’t flat-out sent her away, she stepped into the room and edged toward the bed. When she asked if Erin was okay, all she received was a shrug.

“Want to tell me what happened?”

“I fell.”

Abby sat on the edge of the bed. “Sort of like how you fell on your wrist?”

“Sort of, yes.”

“I don’t believe you’re that clumsy. And what’d you fall on?”

Erin sat silently, her knees drawn to her chin. She picked at her comforter and shrugged yet again. “Nothing much.”

“Did he do this to you?”

“It was an accident--”

“I’ve seen Holtzmann get in a lot of fights over the years, and let me tell you, there’s no such thing as an accidental punch.” A third shrug. Abby gritted her teeth. “Erin, if he hurt you--”

“Look, we had an argument about how much time I spend with you guys here. He went to go into his bedroom and flung the door open. I was a little too close. He didn’t do it on purpose. And he was right--I’m his girlfriend, so I should really be around him more.”

“If you really think it was an accident, then why lie about it? Why tell me you fell?”

“Because exactly this.”

Abby wasn’t prepared for the explosion her questions instigated. She got to her feet and took a step back. “I’m not following.”

“You don’t like him, so of course you jump to conclusions.”

Spotting moisture gathering in Erin’s eyes, Abby took her seat once more and gathered Erin into her arms. “I guess I just want to protect you so much I forget you don’t always want me to.”

Erin’s fingers curled against her back. “It was an accident, Abby. I promise.”

“I trust you.” That she didn’t trust Phil went unspoken. “Did you really fall on your wrist?”

“Yes.”

“Not because he shoved you, right?”

“Abby.”

That wasn’t a yes or a no, but Abby decided she didn’t want to ruin the moment. Sitting in Erin’s part-time bedroom, holding her beloved friend, and simply being quiet together would have to suffice. She’d keep her eyes peeled, however, and if Erin showed up with any other small injuries, she’d have a talk with Holtzmann. Erin might not want a protective detail, but she was going to get a revenge squad if nothing else.

0-0-0

Two weeks later, Erin wore a turtleneck five days in a row.

Abby was suspicious but knew better than to bring it up--past experience had taught her well that Erin wasn’t interested in her conspiracy theories. Thankfully, Holtzmann didn’t care if her suspicions were supported by facts. Phil was a dick, which was reason enough to mess with him. If he were hurting Erin, then all the more reason to, of course. Abby knew she could count on her floofy-haired friend for backup. What she didn’t expect was Patty joining them at the table, fully ready to help as well.

“Erin can’t know about this.”

“We know.” Patty touched her arm. “Me and Holtzy may not have the hots for her like you do, but she’s family.”

“So, do we make something go boom?”

“No explosions just yet. We start small.”

Patty’s expression lit up. “We swap out his hair product with bleach.”

Holtz snorted. “I knew letting you choose Matilda for movie night would come in handy someday.”

“Guys, we’re not breaking and entering to do this.”

“Fine, fine. I have an idea.”

Patty cocked an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“You ever see the photo-set online of a guy dicking with a wrong number by pretending to be a Bill Clinton photo service?” Holtz grinned. “We have the tech. I could create a fake number that’ll send him more and more texts as the days go by, telling him he’s subscribed to a free service. We could make it whatever we want.”

“How about anger management tips?”

Holtz nodded. “Passive aggressive. I like it.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” Abby stood up and stretched, just as Erin entered the room, her phone held to her ear.

Erin smiled at her friends and lifted a finger. Interested but unwilling to wait around, Abby lifted a different finger with a grin and headed for the lab. She had to act like nothing was different, even though the very sight of yet another turtleneck made her want to do much worse than a handful of annoying text messages. She wanted to do more than bleach his hair, too. In fact, she’d rather like to set him on fire--but she realized that might be a bit extreme.

Then again, Erin was still wearing a cast and caking makeup on to hide her black eye. Maybe he did deserve a little incendiary justice.


	7. Chapter 7

While working on helping Holtz design a new weapon, Abby didn’t allow herself to think of anything else, especially not Erin. Their plan deployed a week ago, and the only change she witnessed was Erin’s mood plunging. Things hadn’t exactly gone the way she wanted. Not thinking about Erin became impossible when the woman herself collapsed against her, sobbing.

“I’m gonna let you guys hug it out,” Holtz muttered as she scuttled away.

Abby twisted around to hug Erin to her chest. She didn’t know what this was about, but her first instinct was to comfort. Erin clung to her, and she rubbed Erin’s back in slow, strong circles. Time passed slowly, and Abby found she could spend an eternity this close to Erin. When Erin was finally calmer, she brushed hair from Erin’s face and peered into Erin’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

Erin had no response. With a small sigh, Abby held her close again and simply existed in the moment. She’d be patient.

0-0-0

She tucked Erin into her bed and sat on the edge. “Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’ll be ready to listen. I’ll even do my best not to judge.”

Erin rolled onto her side and gazed at the wall. “I left.”

“You left.”

“Phil.”

“You did?” Abby clamped down on the hope springing eternal in her voice.

“I did.”

“Are you--what happened?”

Erin slowly shifted the covers down and pulled her sleeve up. Abby inspected the brilliant blossoming bruise across Erin’s arm. Her hands curled into fists, as she wondered where Phil was at this moment. If he was near enough, he was going to be in a world of hurt. Erin grabbed her wrist and redirected her attention.

“This wasn’t an accident,” Erin whispered.

“What I do to him when I get my hands on him won’t be, either.”

“No, please. Don’t.”

“Er--”

“Don’t.”

Abby grimaced and sat down afresh. “Fine. But know that I would, at the drop of a hat, beat his face in for you.”

“I don’t want you to be violent, especially not on my behalf.” Erin withdrew by a scant inch, but the distance was enough to catch Abby’s attention.

“I’d never… I wouldn’t hit you.” Abby cringed. “Erin, I wouldn’t. You know me.”

“Phil said he’d never, at least not on purpose.”

That she sounded like Phil made Abby feel awful. She scooted away, which allowed Erin to relax again. Hating that she had that effect on Erin, she stared down at her hands. “I’m sorry.”

“It hurts. Not just my arm. He said I was lucky to have him. This ghost hunting makes me look crazy. Nobody will ever take me seriously. Nobody will ever want me.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“He’s right, though.”

Resisting the urge to proclaim her love on the spot, Abby shook her head. “You’re sad right now, Erin. You’re not thinking clearly.”

“I’ve seen the responses to the articles you and Holtz post online. We’re jokes, Abby. The scientific community thinks we’re jokes.”

“Yeah, maybe people are slow to catch onto new ideas. I mean, look what happened to Galileo. But that doesn’t mean that we aren’t right--that people won’t eventually understand. And since when has being perceived as wrong stopped anyone from getting into a relationship? You’re beautiful, Erin, and smart--and you can do so much better.”

Erin hugged her arm to her chest and curled away from Abby. “Thanks, Abby. I appreciate it.”

Feeling as though she hadn’t done much convincing, Abby hesitated. She ought to continue to fight, but there was little she could do or say that would help in that moment. Muttering that she’d be back to check in later, she headed downstairs to drown her sorrows in a rootbeer float.

0-0-0

“Is she okay?”

Abby shrugged.

Holtz glanced at Patty, who stared blankly back. “She hasn’t come out of her room in like four days.”

“She’s taken a few showers.”

Patty shook her head. “What she did was stand under blistering hot water for nearly an hour twice.”

“Close enough.”

“Does she need an intervention?”

“No.” Abby took a fresh bite of her sandwich and tried not to think too hard about when she and Erin went out for sandwiches. That felt like a lifetime ago. “Why are you asking me, anyway? I’m not her keeper.”

“You’re the one she trusts the most,” Holtz replied. “You’ve known her longest.”

“Besides, you and her have this--” Patty cut off abruptly as Holtz elbowed her side. “What I mean is that, yeah, you got a history together, so she’ll listen to you.”

“She thinks I’m going to hurt her.”

“Words are cheap, girl. Prove it.”

“How?”

“Don’t hurt her?” Holtz offered.

“Did she mention what happened?”

“Just that he did it on purpose this time, and that was it for the relationship. And then I sort of threatened to go beat his face in.” Abby cleared her throat and tugged at her collar. “I guess I should stop talking about how much I want to hurt people, huh?”

“Maybe for now.”

“I thought words were cheap.”

Abby ignored Holtz, not for the first time. “I think we should have another movie night, to help her feel like things can be normal. But we have to choose a movie that’s cute and family friendly.”

“Curious George.”

Patty rolled her eyes but nodded. “That’s the G-est rated thing to come out in a long time. I’d be down. But you’re in charge of getting her interested.”

“I’m on it.” Abby turned toward the stairs, not relishing in her mission. She loved Erin, but suddenly, she didn’t quite know what to say or how to act.

0-0-0

She rapped on Erin’s door and waited for a response. When none came, she twisted the knob and stepped inside the dark space. “Erin, you in here?”

There was a lump on the bed that shifted ever so slightly, which Abby deduced was Erin. She eased the covers back to reveal her friend, complete with mussy bedhead, red-rimmed eyes, and rumpled clothing. The sight was both antagonizing and pitiful.

“You need to get up.”

“Why?”

“You’re dirty, for one, but mostly, we miss you.”

“I’m around.”

“You’ve been locked away in here for too long.” Erin tried to roll away, but Abby gently grabbed her hip. As soon as Erin halted, she released her grip. “I’m sorry, Er. But it’s time for some tough love. Get your butt out of bed. We’re doing a movie night tonight in your honor. I’m going to get a couple tubs of your favorite ice cream, several liters of hard alcohol, and a feel-good movie.”

“I don’t really--”

“We know it sucks. We get that. But you’re not going to get any better festering in everything here. So get out of bed right now.”

“Abby…”

“I am not going to manhandle you. I promise. I’m sorry I even touched your hip. But you have to get out of bed. If you don’t, I’ll call your mom down here and have her do it.”

Erin slowly sat up. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would.”

“Abby, please. I just need to get this out of my system--”

“Your way isn’t working.” Abby pointed to the door. “Go get in the shower. And I’ll be timing you. You have ten minutes.”

“That’s barely enough time to shave my legs.”

“I don’t care if you’re hairy, sweetie. I care if you smell.”

Erin groused and grumbled, but she got out of bed and found a towel crumpled on the floor. Abby took that towel from her hands and pointed to the closet, where she knew there was a fresher towel waiting. When Erin dragged her feet, Abby gestured to her watch and threatened to start the ten minutes that moment.

Eleven minutes later, Erin stood in front of her, dripping wet and sort of smiling. She grinned back, quelling her physiological reaction to seeing Erin nearly naked in front of her. This version of Erin was still physically damaged, but Abby could see a spark of something back in Erin’s eyes. She set another timer and gave Erin five minutes to get dressed.

“You’re coming with me to the store, so you can pick our poison.”

Erin saluted smartly and disappeared into her bedroom. She appeared shortly after in a pair of sweatpants and what looked to be one of Holtz’s old band shirts. This was acceptable garb for the moment, Abby decided, but they’d have to work Erin back up to her usual wear. She waited patiently for Erin to pull her hair into a ponytail and then herded her wayward friend downstairs.

Patty and Holtz hooted and hollered at Erin’s appearance, and Erin dipped into a bow. Abby knew better than to think Erin was feeling better, however--after years of therapy and teasing, Erin had become a master of pretending to be fine. Abby, in turn, had mastered knowing when Erin wasn’t okay. She didn’t mind that Erin wasn’t feeling great because that response was to be expected. She was just glad that Erin had the energy to put on a brave face.


	8. Chapter 8

“The thing I don’t get,” Patty said before taking a hearty gulp of her mixed drink, “is why you’re so messed up about him now. You were just fine after breaking up with him during the whole Rowan incident.”

Erin toyed with her straw and shrugged. “I had bigger things to think about.”

“I could--”

“Holtz, no,” Abby interrupted. She didn’t need to hear Holtz’s suggestion to know that it was likely something ridiculous. Holtz would probably burn down half the city to give Erin something else to think about, and Abby wanted to rein in that impulse as quickly as possible.

“Holtz yes?”

“No.”

Erin smiled shyly and sipped her drink. “Thank you, Holtzmann, but I have a feeling that Abby’s probably right.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“Girl, we don’t have to know.” Patty removed the shot glass from Holtz’s fingers and downed the liquid herself.

Abby set a hand on Erin’s knee, hoping that the small, physical contact wouldn’t be unwanted. Erin covered her hand and squeezed, encouraging Abby to say, “Anything you need, Erin, just ask. We’ve got you covered. Unless you want us to let you go back to bed for another half a week. That’s a no-go.”

“I’m done sleeping, I promise.”

“Done lying about, too?”

Erin nodded. “I’ll only be in bed at night, just like you guys.”

Abby took this answer as honest and turned toward the television, where the movie awaited them. She hit play and tossed Erin a spoon for the ice cream they purchased. Erin had fantastic taste and had chosen Phish Food. There are other sweets on the floor between them, and enough alcohol to drown NYU’s undergraduate population. She tossed Erin a bag of miniature M&Ms and settled back to watch the movie.

When she heard an honest laugh from her best friend, she finally relaxed.

0-0-0

Abby stared up at the ceiling, aware that the hour was late--which meant she was going to be an absolute bear to deal with in the morning. She liked sleeping, almost as much as she liked Erin, but her brain was whirling about too intensely for her to do much more than close her eyes and pray for rest. When that failed, she traced the patterns of the cracks in the ceiling. 

Since the break up, Erin had moved more of her belongings into the firehouse and looked into subletting her apartment. What that meant was that Erin was very, very near to her at that moment, hopefully sleeping given the late hour. Erin was so close, yet so far, and Abby was struggling to process everything she felt as of late.

She rolled onto her stomach and tucked her pillow under her chest. Giving up on the idea of sleep, she found her phone and scrolled through her emails. There were, of course, more than ever because of their success reversing the ghost apocalypse, but almost none were actually interesting. Of the fifteen emails waiting for her, four were schools looking for a guest lecture, which was much more Erin’s style than hers, nine were fan letters, and two were spam. Of the fan letters, she set two aside to answer in-depth later.

The fact that she was getting messages from little girls around the city who were interested in science and looked up to her was heartening. She’d fought her entire life for what she believed in, but she’d never been prone to the same craving for validation that Erin faced daily. Still, now that she had a taste of people genuinely admiring her, she did want more. Sometimes, a little girl would ask her a question about being different, and she wondered how different her own life would have been if someone had guided her like she was guiding them.

Her thoughts abruptly cut off as a knock sounded at her door. She kicked the blankets back and padded to the door. The sight of Erin in the doorway gave her pause. Erin wore a baggy tank top and pajama pants covered in tiny ghosts--a gift, surely, from Holtzmann, and she fiddled with her hair as she waited for Abby to greet her.

“Sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t.”

“I just…” Erin gazed beyond Abby and cleared her throat. “Could I?”

Abby stepped aside, allowing Erin inside. She shut the door and offered Erin a small smile. “You doing okay?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah? You, too?”

“I know I promised I wouldn’t oversleep, but apparently, my body took that as I should never sleep again,” Erin joked weakly.

“My brain just won’t shut up.” Abby gestured to her bed. “But if you want to attempt getting some rest, you’re welcome to try crashing in here.”

“That’s actually why I’m here. If that’s okay? I’ve always slept better with someone around.”

“Remember our sleep overs in high school?”

“I can’t believe my parents let me stay at your house overnight, to be honest. They didn’t trust me at all when I was a kid.” Erin slid into Abby’s bed and nestled her face against Abby’s pillow. “But staying at yours was the best. Better than Christmas.”

“I had a pretty great time, too.”

“Ugh, do you remember when I had that crush on James O’Franahan?”

“All you wanted to do was talk about whether he liked you.” Abby snorted as she got into bed as well. She kept a careful distance until Erin snuggled up against her. Trying to keep her heart rate in check, she measured her breaths.

“Simpler times, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you ever wish you could go back?”

“Not really.”

“Me, neither. I don’t miss getting covered in food every lunch period. I wish we could have kept the sleep overs and nixed the rest.”

“We could start the tradition again, if you want?” Abby noted the way Erin’s hand found her arm and squeezed.

“I’d like that.”

There was a period of silence, during which Abby wasn’t certain if Erin went to sleep. She concentrated on the smell of Erin’s hair, the soft touch of Erin’s skin--and hoped this wasn’t the last time she had Erin sleeping so close in her arms.

“Abby?”

“Hm?”

“He really hurt me this time.”

“I know.”

Erin sniffled, and Abby fought the urge to tighten her grip. She wanted to be gentle with Erin and only do as Erin wanted.

“Is it sick that I forgive him?”

Abby swallowed hard. She didn’t think she’d ever do such a thing, but she wasn’t about to say that. Instead, she whispered, “I think it would be worse if you didn’t. You don’t hold grudges very well, Er. That’s my job.”

“I just… He’s right, in a way.”

“We already talked about this.”

“I know. It’s like a broken record in my head, but his voice is the loudest right now.”

Abby grimaced. “Then I’ll just have to be a broken record even more than him. I mean it, Erin. You’re worthy of love, and you don’t deserve to get hurt for it.”

“I don’t know who I’d be without you,” Erin murmured. “You’ve always protected me.”

“Not enough.” Abby kissed Erin’s head. “I wish I could have done more.”

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Abby had a difficult time keeping her voice even. “Don’t get sappy on me, Gilbert.” 

“Okay.”

“I love you, Erin.”

“I love you, too.”

0-0-0

When Abby woke in the morning, Erin was gone. She wondered if Erin had been there at all, until she spotted a little handwritten note on her bedside table. It told her that Erin had gone to take a shower because there was a self-enforced rule against staying in bed for too long. Abby cursed the rule, wishing just once that she could wake up with Erin in her arms.

She yawned, stretched, and sat up. After their conversation, she’d slept pretty darn well, and she felt ready to tackle the day. She tucked her feet into a pair of slippers and went to find her laptop. As it was a weekend morning--or, rather, early afternoon--she didn’t feel inclined to do any real work. Instead, she decided to respond to the fan letters and do some browsing on the local ghost websites, see if there were any leads for a new case.

Halfway through her first letter, Erin entered and handed her a mug of steaming coffee, prepared just the way she liked it. She tried to say thank you, but Erin waved the gratitude away and smiled. Abby stared as Erin walked away, her heart hammering much too fast. She sipped the coffee, which tasted delicious, and wanted this to be a daily occurrence.


	9. Chapter 9

Thankfully, Kevin was at the door rather than her early on Monday morning when Phil strode in. If she had been present, she likely would have forgotten her promise of non-violence and decked him. Instead, she got to watch from a distance as Kevin grabbed Phil’s arm and told him that only Official Ghostbusters got to go past the little yellow line painted on the ground. By the time she crossed the room, she had her temper as in check as it was ever going to be.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to speak with Erin,” he replied, his eyes focused beyond her head.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

He finally stared at her. The tiny snort of disbelief he released frustrated Abby, but she maintained her cool head. “How about you stay out of her business?”

“When you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.” She took a menacing step forward. “You need to leave. Now.”

“Give me one good reason.”

“If you don’t, I’ll call the cops.”

“You wouldn’t put Erin through the embarrassment.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t?--I wouldn’t put her through--Oh, just you wait.” 

Abby bristled and fumbled for her phone. She wasn’t going to call--or at least she really didn’t want to--but she couldn’t just stand there while he tried to see through her bluff. If she let this go, he wouldn’t ever believe she was a serious threat. Heck, he’d just waltz in here whenever he wanted, and she couldn’t let that happen to Erin. A bit of an uproar now would be better than months of agony if he kept showing up.

When her finger hit the second one of the emergency number, he snorted angrily and marched to the door. “I’ll be back.”

“You better not be, buster!”

She scrambled after him, but Kevin had the good sense to grab her arm and hold her back. He stared after Phil, obviously confused. “He’s a ghostbuster, too?”

Realizing her mistake, Abby sighed and brushed herself off. “No. He’s a--a good times buster. He’s not allowed in the building, got it?”

“But he’s a buster--”

“No. Your dog is more of a buster than he is.”

“But you said--”

“I know what I said, Kev.” She placed her hands on his shoulders and stared up into his eyes. He was a big lunk of a man. “Just forget it.”

“Hm?”

“Thattaboy.”

0-0-0

Erin proudly lifted the journal from the table and cleared her throat. Abby watched, her hands tucked neatly beneath her chin. Beside her, Holtz tinkered away on some project or another, and Patty feigned interest. Patty could always be counted on to feign interest because she was a fan of knowledge, even the kind she didn’t really understand. In return, they tried to listen attentively when she got too deep into history--although Abby was generally the first one to kind her back to a rational stance when things got a little too close to historical conspiracy theories.

As Erin read her article, Abby noted her excited posture, wide smile, and twinkling eyes. This was the sort of Erin she loved the most--the sort that was proud of her work, her mind, and her person. She cared deeply for Erin no matter what, but she wished that every moment of Erin’s life could be like this one. She didn’t bother masking her adoration as she listened and allowed a goofy smile to overtake her lips.

She was glad she’d read the article earlier because she didn’t hear a single word Erin said for that half an hour. She did, however, listen to the lilt in Erin’s voice and the bounce in her words. She took in the way Erin’s mouth formed each sound and the quick dart of Erin’s eyes--just to make sure nobody was bored, probably. Erin was very sensitive to that sort of thing, or at least she used to be. Abby recalled trying to multitask around Erin when they were younger. Being on her phone while they were hanging out eventually became taboo, at least in Abby’s mind, because Erin would retreat into her shell, sure that Abby no longer wanted to be around her.

Abby always wanted to be around her. The problem was always having too much to do. Back then, she used to stay up extra late to get her work done, just to have those few, uninterrupted hours of time with her best friend.

When Erin wound down, Abby stretched her hand out. “Would you sign that copy for me, Er?”

“Oh, that’s silly,” Erin said, her cheeks flooding with delighted color. “Really?”

“Of course. It’s groundbreaking, and it’s brilliant. I want my copy signed, so I can pass it down to the next generation of great thinkers, so they can stand on your giant shoulders.”

“I mean, I will, if you’re serious…?”

Holtz slapped her hand down. “If you sign one for her, you better sign one for me, too.”

“And me,” Patty added.

Flustered, Erin glanced between them all. Abby gave her the most reassuring smile she could muster. “It was really good, Erin. I’m so proud of you.” As the other women chorused their agreement, Abby set her hand on Erin’s forearm. “You did good.”

0-0-0

Later that night, Abby sat up in the hopes that she’d have a visitor again. She waited until just before midnight before curling up under her blankets and closing her eyes. She supposed this was good, as Erin was likely healing up and needing less support and comfort. Although she wanted Erin beside her, she wasn’t going to put her needs before Erin’s. She’d survive in bed alone--just as she had for decades prior, save of course for a few evenings here or there with a few choice visitors.

She rolled over just in time to see her door cracking open.

“Abby? You awake?”

“Come in,” she whispered back.

Erin slipped inside and shut the door. “Were you serious the other night about having more sleepovers?”

“Dead serious, Er.”

“Can I?”

Abby scooted over and patted the mattress. “Of course.”

With Erin snuggled up in her arms again, Abby closed her eyes. Despite the circumstances leading to this moment, Abby was incredibly grateful for this small pleasure. Erin was tall, with gangling limbs, and she was shorter and proportional, but somehow, Erin fit just so in her arms.

0-0-0

Tuesdays were never Abby’s favorite. Mondays were exciting because after a weekend of free time, she generally yearned to return to her research. Heck, even Wednesdays held some appeal for their middle of the week status, while Thursdays were the cusp of the weekend, and Fridays always ended on a high note. But Tuesdays. There was nothing good about Tuesdays.

Then again, perhaps she was being too hard, she thought as she woke groggily with Erin still in her grasp. Her nose was buried in Erin’s hair, and all she could smell was Erin--all she could see, too, was her best friend. If only all Tuesdays started this way. She slid her hand down Erin’s arm, and Erin nestled closer.

“Five more?”

“Er, as much as I want to keep sleeping with you, we both have to get up and go to work.”

“Mm.”

“Remember how you promised you wouldn’t oversleep?”

“Mm.”

“Don’t make me tickle you.” Abby waited a moment and then pressed a fingertip to Erin’s ribs. “You’ve got until the count of three.”

Erin cracked an eye open. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“One…”

“Abby, come on.”

“Two.”

“It’s just five minutes--”

“Three!” Abby wriggled her fingers mercilessly, while Erin struggled to get away. Shrieks of laughter filled the air until Erin’s squiggling knocked them both to the floor, where they remained for several minutes.

“Well, I’m out of bed.”

“But you’re not up.”

“I’m halfway there. Isn’t that good enough?”

Abby shrugged. “I mean, you did technically fulfill my requirement of not oversleeping. You’re awake and out of bed.”

“So, we can just stay here for a while?”

“Until Holtzmann comes looking for us,” Abby relented. “But then we really have to get working.”

“I like being in your room. It’s nice.”

“I haven’t done much decorating, yet.”

“No, but it sort of suits you.” Erin flushed. “I’m not saying you’re plain. It’s just… you’re sort of who you say you are? If that makes sense. You don’t need a lot of bright colors or distracting stuff because you’re okay having people see you. Just you. Because you’re enough.”

“I was definitely going to put up a poster over my bed. Probably that old Universe poster you got me for my birthday.”

“You still have that old thing? It’s been literally decades.”

“It’s a cool poster.”

“Wow.”

Abby sat up and tugged her knees to her chest. She sucked in several deep breaths. This seemed like an okay time to reveal at least a bit of what she was feeling, especially given how well Erin was doing. She wouldn’t be taking advantage of Erin in this state. She rubbed her fingers together and mustered her courage.

“Erin, I--I’ve always valued you, y’know? That’s part of why I kept the poster. It--you--mean so much to me, and--”

The door popped open, admitting Holtz, who carried a burning torch. “Guys. Have you seen the fire extinguisher?”

Erin scrambled up. “What did you do now?”

They set off together down the hall, and Abby pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Walking in on Holtz and a random girl making out on the couch wasn’t a particularly new experience, but Abby didn’t have the energy to tease her friend properly. Instead, she walked past the couch, lifted a weary hand, and continued toward the stairs. Even without looking back, Abby knew Holtz was scrambling upright and apologizing to her date de jour. She found her desk and shuffled through some papers until Holtz’s hand landed on her shoulder.

“Hey. You okay?”

“Mm. Sorry to interrupt.”

“It’s fine.”

“You should get back to her.”

“Nah, I already sent her home with the promise of a rain check.”

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Separate love and sex?”

“It’s just how I am.” Holtz shrugged and leaned against the desk. “Sex feels good, and that’s all it is for me. A physical release. But for you, it’s about the emotional connection, right? So, love and sex are supposed to be linked for you.”

“Hm.”

“Is this about Erin? Did you--did you do the do? Was there rebound sex? And you’re totally into her, but she’s not--”

“There was no sex,” Abby interrupted, before Holtz could go too far off the rails. “She’s just started sleeping in my room a lot--which I definitely don’t mind--but it’s… I’m…”

Holtz ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “So we’ve got some intimacy, and you’re struggling to keep it platonic?”

“Yes.”

“So, you’re asking me how to be there for her intimately without mixing in your romantic feelings?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, Abby.”

“Don’t ‘Oh, Abby’ me, Holtzmann.” Abby let her forehead flump against the firm surface of the desk. “I know how deep I’m in. I know.”

“I was just going to suggest that you really shouldn’t try to be me--y’know, don’t try to separate your feelings. It’s not going to end well. And Hell, Erin’s perceptive. She’ll know the moment something’s different.”

“But it’s starting to hurt. I love holding her, Holtz, but I’m dying, too. How can I hold her that close and not have her?”

“That’s not really a question I can answer.”

After Holtz left her there, Abby found no answers in the following silence, either.

0-0-0

“What are you doing here?”

Abby woke from her nap at the sound of Erin’s raised voice. She jumped to her feet when she heard Phil respond. He wasn’t supposed to come back, she thought angrily as she stomped down the stairs. She’d warned him against returning, so she wasn’t at fault for whatever transpired next.

She hit the first floor and made glaring eye contact with her prey. He tilted his nose up and turned. “Erin, if you come to your senses, I know we can still make this work.”

Erin bristled by Kevin’s desk, her hands curled into fists that trembled against her thighs. Without another word, Phil left, and Abby crossed the space. She set her hand on Erin’s elbow; Erin whipped about and clung to her.

“Ugh, I hate him.”

Abby rubbed her back. “I know.”

“I wish I could just deck him.”

“And wind up in the paper again?”

Erin grimaced. “The headline would be ‘Local Hero Decks Local Asshole, World Better Place.’”

“No arguments from me,” Abby replied, shifting her attention to Kevin.

He flipped through a magazine for several moments before meeting her gaze. “Uh, yes, boss?”

“I thought I told you not to let him in here again.”

“Who?”

“Phil.”

“He’s not here right now?”

“He was here a few minutes ago.”

“He was?”

Abby would have been frustrated, but Erin laughed, and the vibrations sent between their closely clutched bodies changed her mind. She’d give him a firmer talking to later, when she didn’t have her favorite person snuggled up flush against her.

0-0-0

“Okay, no. That’s not how the game is played.” Abby stuck her hand out and wriggled her fingers. “Give up the sheep, Holtzmann.”

“No, I earned them, fair and square.” Holtz held the cards to her chest and shook her head fervently. “Just because I don’t play with your strategy doesn’t mean that I’m doing anything wrong. Patty, back me up.”

“As much as I hate to agree, she’s right.” Patty gestured to the rule book.

“You’re not being serious, right? She has literally every sheep card in the game.”

“And that’s her choice and her right.” 

Holtz held her head high. “And as Queen of the Sheep, I demand you baa-ck off.”

“Ugh. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. She’s going to be all about sheep puns for the rest of the week.”

“Just avoid me. Be like sheeps in a storm.”

“For the love of--”

“Abby, if you can’t beat her, maybe you should join me?” Erin slipped a card across the table.

“I thought she had them all.”

“I thought--”

“I’ve had this one since the first round,” Erin clarified.

“That’s cheating!” Holtz shoved her grabby hands toward Patty. “Tell them!”

“Hm, nothing in here about willingly handing cards over to other players. Sorry, baby.”

Abby took the sheep card and triumphantly purchased a Development Card. She shot Erin a grateful look and then flushed bright red when Erin winked at her in response. Quickly excusing herself, she hurried to the bathroom, where she splashed cold water on her cheeks. This was entirely accidental on Erin’s part, but their interactions as of late had done little to quell the flame of desire alight in her belly. Abby gripped the sink tightly and breathed slowly.

“Yo, Abs of Steel?”

Holtz was safe, so she pulled the door open and admitted her petite friend. “What?”

“Just making sure you’re okay. When you ran away, you looked like you swallowed a jalapeno pepper.”

“Oh. I didn’t--It was obvious?”

“Erin thinks she did something wrong.”

“She didn’t,” Abby sputterred. “She’s perfect--”

“Yeah, I know. You look at her like she’s made of fine china and you’re someone’s elderly relative who still thinks fine china is good for something other than target practice in the back alley--”

“Holtz.”

“Sorry.”

“Where is she now?”

“I think the rooftop.”

“Thanks, Holtz.”

“I prefer to be called Queen of the Sheep.”

Abby rolled her eyes.

0-0-0

“Erin?” Abby crested the stairs and spotted her wayward friend by the edge. “Can we talk?”

Erin turned her head ever so slightly, and the lights of the city beyond lit up one cheek. “What’s up?”

“I, uh, I think I may have given you the wrong impression.”

“What do you mean?”

“In the game. When I, y’know, sprinted away.”

“It looked like you saw a ghost,” Erin teased gently, returning her attention to the skyline.

The soft gibe coaxed Abby closer. Erin couldn't be too mad if she was making jokes. “Not quite.”

“It’s a nice night, isn’t it?”

To be honest, the chill in the air was a bit much for Abby, but she shrugged. “Pretty nice, yeah.”

“I like thinking up here. Holtz got me hooked on it.”

“I like Patty’s method of building a book fort downstairs and calling it the Fortress of Solitude.” Abby settled next to Erin and picked at a cuticle. “Look, I want to explain all of that.”

“You don’t have to, really.”

“No, I sort of do.”

Erin looked at her again and searched her gaze. “Abby…”

“Holtz interrupted our conversation before.”

“She did.”

“I was just getting around to telling you… That I…” Abby swallowed past the growing lump in her throat. She hated her feelings--they made everything too difficult, and she shouldn’t have this hard of a time just talking to her best friend.

Erin took her hand, and even though she couldn't find anything good to say that will excuse her behavior, they remained side by side until they headed to bed.

0-0-0

Abby had no problem interrupting Holtz’s work with a dramatic sigh. “I couldn’t do it.”

“Breathe underwater? Yeah, me neither, but I’m working on a set of sick gills that could--”

“Holtz, I’m talking about Erin.”

“Oh, right.” Holtz smiled crookedly. “Of course.”

“She was watching me and waiting, and I just… I flubbed. I couldn’t do more than tell her she’s my best friend.” Abby massages her temples. “I mean, imagine what could go wrong, right? Like, I tell her, and she’s not interested, and suddenly, it’s weird around here? I don’t want to mess up our flow. We’re a team. And on top of that, what if she thinks I’ve been using her? Abusing her need for comfort to get closer to her?”

“Well--”

“I can’t tell her.” Abby firmed her resolve. “It’s more important that I’m her friend than anything else, right?”

Holtz shrugged. “Sure, Abby. Sure.”

“Good. Then that’s settled.” Abby peered across the space and gazed at Erin talking with Patty, and her heart clenched. Despite her words, she was far from okay with her decision.


	11. Chapter 11

Contrary to Abby’s fears, being just friends with Erin was easy. They had a lot of practice, after all, and she slipped right into the rhythm of being Erin’s best bud as if she were born to fill the position. She knew when Erin needed support or criticism, when Erin wanted to vent, and when all Erin required was a hot coffee and a back rub. While she had no doubt she’d make an excellent girlfriend, she was also excelling at pure, platonic friendship.

Pure, platonic friendship was the reason she let Erin snuggle in her bed every night, as well as being the reason for her careful examination of Erin’s lips at least once an hour. She had to make sure Erin was happy, after all, as part of her friendship duties, and what better way to make an assessment than to check for a smile?

“Abby?”

Ugh, Abby thought as she lifted her gaze from the blueprints sprawled over her desk. Erin’s voice, especially when saying her name, was like getting into a hot bath after a long, stressful day. She grinned at Erin, who crossed the room to stand at her side.

“What’s up?”

Erin fiddled with the hem of her sweatshirt, and Abby did her best not to watch those lithe fingers too closely. She shifted her gaze back up to Erin’s. Thankfully, Erin didn’t seem to notice the subtle lapse in her attention. Rather, Erin looked contemplative, which wasn’t surprising to Abby in the least. She’d rarely admit so out loud, but she wouldn’t be half the scientist she was without Erin’s expertise and motivation.

When they were children, she’d been gung-ho about seeing a ghost because she was fascinated by the idea of the supernatural. She loved the unexplainable and inexplicable because they were cool and scary--not to mention they were topics that Erin loved to talk about, once they got past the whole ghost girl thing. She would have been satisfied to just think of ghosts as a hobby, or a passing interest, but Erin was determined to know everything possible. Erin took her curiosity and developed it into a passion, and Abby was incredibly grateful.

In a way, Erin was responsible for a hefty portion of her happiness. Abby could never repay that, but she was damn sure going to try.

“I… It’s really stupid.”

“I’m sure it’s not.” Abby squared her shoulders. Nothing that came out of Erin’s mouth could be stupid, unless of course Erin was about to tell her that there was an impending date with Phil.

“I’m not feeling very--stellar… today, I mean.”

A silence lapsed as Abby waited for a follow up statement. She took Erin’s hand. “What can I do to help?”

“Can I have a hug?”

The request was so simple that Abby nearly laughed. Instead, she stood immediately and opened her arms. Erin nestled against her, and she closed her eyes. This was so friendly, she assured herself, letting her nose come to rest in Erin’s hair. Purely platonic, she thought, taking a small inhale. She really liked being Erin’s best friend.

“Get a room, you two!” 

Abby whipped her head up and glared at Holtzmann, who wasn’t even looking in their direction. “You get a life, Holtz.”

Holtz flipped her off without missing a beat before returning to the large, rumbling contraption in front of her.

0-0-0

“Who’s that?” Abby stared at the front of the firehouse with wide eyes. The man talking to Kevin was tall, muscular, and handsome. He was definitely aesthetically pleasing, although Abby didn’t find him particularly attractive.

Erin, on the other hand, seemed to be drooling. She sat a little straighter as she replied, “Patty’s cousin, Dennis. He’s just visiting for a few days, and Patty thought it would be good for me to get out--to show him around. You know?”

Inwardly screaming, Abby forced a smile onto her lips. “Oh, yes. That would be. Good. For you.”

“He is good looking, isn’t he?” Erin tittered a little nervously. “And Patty said he’s very nice.”

“I’m sure he is.”

Erin hesitated. “Will you keep your phone on? Just in case I need to check in with you later?”

Hating herself but unwilling to lose her position as best buddy, Abby nodded stiffly. “Sure. Have a good time. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Ab, you wouldn’t even go out with him, I bet.”

“Well…” Abby shrugged, staring down at her work so she wouldn’t have to look at Erin’s enthusiastic expression. By the time she glanced back up, Erin and Patty’s cousin Dennis were gone.

0-0-0

She sat on the roof, staring out at the skyline with a beer and her regrets. She felt ridiculous for even entertaining the notion that Erin could possibly ever want her. Erin was painfully straight. Even if she weren’t, Abby doubted Erin would think of her that way. The realization was painful, but she decided there was no use deluding herself. She had to face facts and get her life together before her feelings ruined everything.

“Abby?”

Holtz stepped onto the roof and traipsed to Abby’s side, where she promptly plopped down. She offered Abby a fresh beer, which Abby gratefully accepted. They sat quietly for a few minutes until Abby couldn’t contain herself any longer.

“She’s on a date right now.”

“I know.”

“With a good looking man.”

“I know.”

“Patty’s cousin.”

“I know.”

“How could Patty do that to me?”

“In all fairness, you haven’t exactly made everyone aware of the extent of your feelings. Least of all the one person who could actually benefit--”

“I’m not telling her.” Abby huffed and puffed. “There’s no point.”

“Why don’t you let her decide that? You’re acting like she’s already rejected you.”

“Because she definitely will.”

Holtz rolled her eyes. “Well, the good thing is that Dennis isn’t sticking around. And rebound relationships don’t really work out, so it’s good she’s getting out there on a date that isn’t you, so she’ll be emotionally ready when you tell her.”

“I’m not telling her.”

“Shh,” Holtz advised. “Drink more, talk less.”

Abby downed the rest of the beer, all the while staring moodily into the distance. It was always easier to hide. But when had she ever chosen the path of least resistance? Years ago, she could have had a legitimate academic career, like Erin did. She could have given up on ghosts and pursued socially acceptable science. But she hadn’t. She’d stuck to her passions because she didn’t care about easy. She cared about following her heart.

This should be no different.

Gosh darn it, when Erin got back from her little date, Abby was going to tell her everything. Even if she got her heart broken, she was going to face her fears and be a woman about it.

She dropped her bottle, and glass splintered by her feet. Holtz hooted and leaned back, telling her that she should probably stop drinking now and go back to talking. She stood resolutely and clenched her fists by her thighs.

“I’m gonna tell her.”

“Abby, you might be a little tipsy, so you might want to wait before making a decision.”

“Jillian Holtzmann, you told me to be honest. So’m going to do it.”

“I was hoping sober Abby would listen to me.”

Abby rolled her eyes. “Maybe sober Abby is too much of a coward.”

Holtz eased around the shattered bottle and placed a hand on Abby’s shoulder. “If this is truly what you want to do, I’m here for you, okay?”

“Thanks, Holtzmann. You’re the best.”

“D’you know how many times I’ve heard that? I mean, normally it’s when a girl is naked and--”

“Holtz.”

Holtz zipped her lips and smirked. “It’s not Tuesday, so I’ll hold off on the TMI.”

Abby smiled, despite the churning in her belly. She was going to do this. She was going to tell Erin everything.

0-0-0

When the front door opened at just after eleven forty-five, Abby sat up and waited for Erin to enter. A moment passed--please, Abby thought, don’t let them be kissing. Erin stepped inside and tossed her coat aside, and Abby leaped to her feet.

“How was your date?”

Erin jumped. “Abby, you scared me. It--it was fine.”

“Fine?”

“We went out to dinner, and then we walked around some. He walked me here and…”

“And…” Abby tensed.

“We kissed.” Erin sighed. “He’s handsome and smart and funny--but there was no spark. I think it’s me. Maybe Phil was right. Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

“No,” Abby replied, vehemence filling her voice. “No way in Hell.”

Erin dabbed at her eyes and shrugged. “I’m just… I don’t know. I just want to feel good again. About myself.”

Abby took a step closer. “Erin, maybe this isn’t the right time, but I… I have something I want to talk to you about.”

“Would you mind if we talked tomorrow? I’m tired. I sort of just want to be alone right now.”

Abby stuttered and then nodded. “Sure, Erin. Take care of yourself, okay?”

Erin passed by to get to the stairs and kissed her cheek briefly. “You, too, Abby. Thank you for supporting me. I really appreciate it. You’re the best friend I could have asked for.”


	12. Chapter 12

Abby waited around in the communal space for several hours the next morning, tapping her fingers on her thighs and doing her best to look nonchalant. Holtzmann paid her no mind, but Patty stopped to chat while she made herself a breakfast burrito in the kitchenette. The conversation was harmless and topical, but Abby couldn’t focus. Although she loved Patty, she was grateful for the silence that remained after Patty headed downstairs. She had to get her thoughts in order and convince herself once more to go through with her confession.

The trouble was that Abby had no interest in losing Erin. She adored her best friend, and there was a danger that Erin wouldn’t take well to her feelings. There were a number of scenarios rushing through her head, only a few of which had good endings. She swallowed hard and stared at the wall to keep herself from running downstairs to her desk, where she could focus on ghosts and ignore her inner turmoil.

“Hey.”

Her decision was ripped from her hands as Erin entered the space, looking beautifully tousled. Abby’s heart lodged in her throat. Although Erin looked delightful fully dolled up and put together, there was something truly alluring about a relaxed-looking, carefree Erin as well. Abby loved this part of Erin a good deal because she felt like there were fewer boundaries between them.

“Good morning,” she managed. “How’d you sleep?”

“Not bad,” Erin replied, grabbing a mug from the cabinet and inspecting it for cleanliness. “You?”

“I actually had something on my mind.”

“That’s right. You wanted to talk to me last night?”

This was her chance. Abby girded her loins and stood. “Erin, I just ask that you hear me out before you say anything, okay? It’s seriously serious for me.”

“Seriously, hm?” Erin laughed her goofy laugh but grew somber at the earnest expression on Abby’s face. “Shoot.”

“This actually isn’t anything all that new. Y’see, the thing is, I’ve always sort of had this--this crush. On you.” Abby held her head high. The words were out there, and she wasn’t going to back track. “I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, and it’s killed me to watch Phil treat you with such disrespect. He tried to make you feel like nobody would want you, but Erin, I’ve wanted you so badly for so long. You’re gorgeous, and you’re so very smart. I don’t expect you to feel the same way about me, but I just--I had to tell you.”

Erin stared, the cup still dangling near her face. “Abby…”

“I don’t need your pity or anything.” Abby waved her hand and took a step back. “I just wanted you to know that you are good enough. You are loved. You are wanted. Okay?”

“Okay,” Erin whispered, taking a step forward.

“Well, I’ll be downstairs. You should, y’know, hurry up and join us. I think Holtz has some new weapons for us to test out.”

Abby marched downstairs before Erin could reply. Flopping down at her desk, she buried herself in complex ghostbusting strategies. She heard Erin come down a short while later, which prompted Holtz to gather everyone outside for the next round of alley testing. Abby avoided looking at Erin, just in case there was some form of pity or derision in Erin’s eyes.

“So, who’s first?” Holtz winked at Patty. “Let she among us who is without sin cast the first stone.”

Patty snorted. “Baby, I don’t think any of us are without sin.”

“Then you, my dear, are first. Step right up, and make your selection.” Holtz bowed and backed away.

Taking no time at all to decide, Patty selected a handheld device the approximate shape of a football but fairly small. At Holtz’s command, Patty threw the device--with a beautiful spiral that Holtz couldn’t help but comment on; it landed in a dumpster, which shook off the ground when the device exploded within.

“I call that the Go Long. For those moments when you gotta go long.”

“I didn’t think you knew sports, Holtzy.”

“I was captain of my high school football team.”

“I’ll go next,” Erin offered before the conversation drifted into complete inanity. She selected what looked to be an umbrella.

“Great choice, Gilbert. That one’s just for you. Pop it open, and it’ll block ectoplasm.”

“Does it… y’know, shoot anything?”

“No.”

Erin rolled her eyes. “Thanks, Holtzmann.”

“My pleasure. And, last but never least, my beloved Abby. Go on.”

Abby stepped up to the small table and selected the last weapon: a long cylindrical barrel that seemed almost like a bazooka. She stared at Holtz, unsure if she really needed to fire this in such a small space.

“Are we about to die?”

“Oh, no. Of course not. Maybe?” Holtz laughed and pointed down at a target she’d placed a dozen yards away. “Just aim away from us.”

When the gun blasted, Abby rocked backward on her heels and guffawed. This weapon had real power, and her arms vibrated with the kickback. The target exploded in a medium-sized poof that had Holtz punching the air and crowing.

“Holtzy, I repeat: You scare me.”

Erin helped Abby set the gun back on the table; their hands brushed together, and a rather becoming blush tickled up Erin’s neck. Abby didn’t know what to make of it, so she offered Erin a friendly smile and backed away. The flush was probably just embarrassment--or worse, shame. Abby didn’t want that at all, so she huffed and stood a little straighter.

“Holtz, anything else you want to run through with us? Or can I go?”

Holtz cocked her head and tapped her chin. “Just dinner at that new Thai food place down the street. Patty already called ahead to make reservations.”

“Thai sounds good,” Erin replied.

“Yeah, sure.” Abby nodded. “When?”

“Five, or so. I gotta run home and feed the little munchkins first.”

“Yeah,” Patty added, “and I have this library book that’s mad overdue. I’ll hurry, but you know how the subways are. I should know. I used to work down there.”

“Fine.” Abby shrugged and headed back inside.

0-0-0

She sat across from Erin and fidgeted with her napkin. “So…”

“I have a suspicion.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t think either of them is actually showing up.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Holtz just texted me a winking emoji.”

Abby slumped down and stared up at the ceiling. “I hate our friends.”

“I don’t. I was actually hoping to talk to you, y’know, without them around.”

“I--I know what you’re going to say, and you don’t have to. You’re not interested, and that’s fine.”

Erin reached across the table and took her hand. “I am, though. Interested, I mean. I just… I’m not so good in my head right now, and I don’t know… I don’t know if I’d be able to live with myself if I dragged you into this mess.”

“It’s a hot mess,” Abby said, unhelpfully.

“After what happened with Phil, I sort of have to figure myself out again.” Erin squeezed their joined hands. “But I adore you, Abby. You’re my best friend, and I feel like rushing into something right now would just ruin that.”

Ah. Abby tried to smile and all but failed. “You want us to be just friends.”

“For now.”

“Of course.” Abby withdrew her hand as the waitress approached. She placed her order, and by the time the waitress left once more, she had her emotions in check. “Erin, I’m here for you however you want me, okay? So, sure. We can keep on being friends.”

“Just for now. I mean, I don’t expect you to wait for me…”

“Sure.”

“That’s such a relief.” Erin flopped back in her chair. “I’ve been thinking about this--about you--all day.”

“I know the feeling.” Tentative, Abby leaned closer. “This has been on my mind for a long time now.”

“I’m sorry if I made it seem like you couldn’t tell me.”

“No, it was mostly me in my head, being afraid.”

“What?” Erin laughed. “You? Afraid? Of feelings?”

“Ridiculous, I know.”

“I love you, Abby.”

“I love you, too.”

“I hope this food is good,” Erin said, swinging the conversation into lighter territory. “Do you remember that Thai place in Michigan?”

“I wouldn’t consider that Thai food. That was more like an American read a book on Taiwan and thought they were an expert on food from Thailand. And the book was in Chinese. Truly awful.”

“But we ate there like three times a month.”

“Think it’s still open?”

“We should go back and check sometime.”

Abby grinned. “That might actually be fun. We could check out the old high school and see if you still fit in the lockers.”

“They thought they were punishing me, but they couldn’t throw their lunches at me when I was in my metal protection unit.”

“Very clever of you, tactically speaking.”

“Thank you.”

When their food came, Abby was much more comfortable. She even decided not to murder Holtzmann and Patty for this devious little plan.


	13. Chapter 13

At just before four in the morning, Abby was awoken by a faint tap at her door. She flicked the light on and waited for a second tap, just to make sure she hadn’t dreamed the first. When one came, she wiped her eyes, yawned, and straggled over. The only person who would bother her in this manner was Erin, and she couldn’t stop the slight increase in her pulse at the thought of interacting with her yet again. They were just friends, she reminded herself. That’s all they were. Maybe that’s all they’d ever be. And that was just fine. She loved Erin, and she’d be there in any way, shape, or form Erin needed. She wondered if her resolve was strong enough to keep her around as a ghost post-mortem.

“Abby?”

She pulled the door open and allowed Erin to tiptoe inside. These little early morning chats, or slumber parties as they often turned out to be, ought to be a bother; after all, Erin continuously interrupted her sleeping, and she always woke up a little more tired than she might have. Instead, she was glad for every moment that Erin chose to spend with her, especially after the revelation of her feelings. Erin continuing to show up at her door was confirmation that Erin wasn’t disgusted or ashamed or at all put off of being around her. Yes, Erin had verbally validated their friendship, but Abby was more interested in actions.

Sometimes, when she was particularly angry, she’d recall how Erin promised to always be her friend but left her for graduate school. She’d like to think that she’s grown up and forgiven Erin for past transgressions, but there was a lingering doubt that Erin will say forever and then leave yet again. That worry is much more than just a niggle at the back of her mind now that she’s expressed the depth of her feelings, as she was more vulnerable than she cared to be.

“Still having trouble sleeping?”

Erin offered her a small smile and reached up to fiddle with loose strands of her hair. Abby took a moment to assess Erin’s loose pajamas--black flannel pants with a red dynamite pattern paired with a white tank top. There was a chill in the air, and Abby quickly averted her gaze from Erin’s barely visible hardened nipples. Do not think about Erin’s breasts, she instructed herself. She failed almost immediately.

“Not trouble, really. It’s just…” Erin moved to the small bookshelf Abby kept in the corner and looked at the spines. There was a small jar of sand placed just so, which she examined. “Lonely, I guess. The bed is really big.”

“That’s from the dunes,” Abby explained, moving closer to take the jar from Erin’s fingers. “From home. I know it’s cheesy, but my mom sent it, so I’d have a piece of Michigan with me wherever I went.”

“That’s sweet.”

“Yeah.” Abby set the jar back in its place and gently touched Erin’s shoulder. “Would you like to sleep with me?”

Erin’s cheeks turned pink. “I…”

“Just sleep.” Blushing as well, Abby gestured to her bed. “My bed is a little smaller with both of us in it. But I mean, if that makes you uncomfortable now, that’s totally okay. We could just chat until you get tired, and then maybe it’ll be easier for you to fall asleep.”

“You haven’t made me uncomfortable.” Erin placed her hands akimbo and stared Abby down. “There’s very little you could do that would chase me away, Abby. Being sweet and thoughtful and loving--those things… those things make me show up at your door in the middle of the night.”

Abby rubbed the back of her neck and returned to bed. After a moment, Erin joined her, and she turned the light off again. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with herself. They were just friends, of course, but did friends spoon? Would spooning be interpreted by Erin as a platonic gesture? Abby folded her hands on her stomach and stared at the ceiling.

Erin rolled up against her and threw an arm across her middle. “I’m not quite tired, yet.”

“I… I could sing you a lullaby?”

“I thought you swore off singing our senior year of high school.”

“Well, those preppy-ass bitches in choir got all the solos because they were pretty.” Abby frowned at the memories. “It wasn’t fair. They sucked.”

“They really did.” Erin tightened her grip. “You know you’re pretty, too, right?”

Abby couldn’t stop the sudden smile that overtook her grim expression. “Not like them.”

“Sure, they conformed to social expectations, but that’s not the only way to be beautiful. Have you ever seen yourself truly passionate and excited?” Erin closed her eyes and nestled her nose against Abby’s neck. “Or do you remember how you looked when we went to prom?”

“We didn’t go to prom.”

“Sh, don’t tell my mom.”

Abby snorted. “You looked so great in that dress.”

“And so did you in yours. I remember looking at you in the doorway and having my breath catch in my throat. You were always pretty, Abby, but that night you were glorious.”

“Oh, sure. I wasn’t even wearing anything special. I didn’t even do my hair.”

“That’s the thing, Abby. There’s just something about you that honestly shines. You could have been wearing a trashbag, and you still would have been beautiful. I promise.”

“Pfffffft.”

“Ew. You just spat on me.”

“Sorry.”

Erin pawed at her face and then returned her arm to its previous position. Abby thought the gesture was possessive, and she felt undeniably wanted and comfortable in Erin’s grip. She tried not to think about the implications of those conclusions, especially given Erin’s desire for space and time.

“I’d like it. A lullaby, I mean. If you’re still willing.”

Abby searched her memory for something that would suffice. She couldn’t quite recall the words to the song her mother used to sing to her, but the melody surfaced easily. She hummed a few bars, and then Erin’s quiet voice filled the scant space between them.

“Sleep fast, sleep well, until the morning’s light. Dream sweet, dream nice, here in my arms tonight.”

Thanks to the reminder, Abby picked up on her own. “Sleep well, sleep fast, don’t doubt my love for you. Dream nice, dream sweet, don’t doubt my love is true.”

As the short verses repeated, Abby watched Erin’s eyelids lower slowly, and soon, the tired physicist was asleep.

0-0-0

Erin leaned away from Holtz, who leaned immediately after. “Can I help you?”

“You look different.”

“Nothing’s changed.”

“Hm.”

Erin chanced a glance at Abby, who merely smiled back and continued working her way through a new budget to submit to the mayor’s office. She, too, thought that there was something a little different about Erin, but she couldn’t put her finger on any physical alteration. Simply put, there was just a bounce in Erin’s step and a little extra sparkle in her eyes. Abby wasn’t certain if she were imagining these things, however, so she didn’t bother commenting.

She went line by line through the budget, adjusting when necessary. She was really going to have to talk to Holtz about the amount of money spent on shower curtains, especially since there was only one shower. Scratching a line through Holtz’s request, she laughed and continued onward. She had no problem with Patty’s request for enough money to purchase access to online databases because those things were damn expensive, but they needed the research tools.

“Hey, you.” Erin leaned against her desk. “We were going to go pick up sandwiches. You want anything?”

Abby wanted to answer _You_ , but she held her tongue and shrugged. “My blood sugar is a little low. How about a ham and cheese?”

“You got it. No lettuce?”

“Thanks.”

Erin touched the back of her hand for a split second, and Abby’s heart leaped into her throat. She swallowed several times to force the lump back down and managed to sputter out a good-bye. When she was alone again, she let her head rest on her desk. She loved Erin, and she was getting the idea that Erin loved her; fucking Phil, she thought darkly. Fucking Phil and his v-neck sweaters and his misogyny and his hatefulness. If not for him, then Erin wouldn’t need all this time to recover and recuperate.

She sighed and picked up her pencil once more. There was no point in bemoaning the past. She would wait as long as Erin needed. Hell, she’d wait longer if that were required of her. She was tired of the world telling Erin she wasn’t good enough, and she was determined to be that one voice consistently and constantly yelling back that she was.


	14. Chapter 14

“Ladies, get that gear on!” Holtzmann all but sprinted past Abby’s desk, her hair flying every which way.

Abby assumed this meant that a call had come in, but she was never too sure with Holtz. Gearing up could be her way of telling everyone to go get lunch, which had happened in the past. Sitting in the Subway in full busting gear had been an interesting experience, one that Abby didn’t wish to repeat. She glanced at Patty, who shrugged.

“Let’s go, I guess.”

Abby stood and headed for her locker. Slipping into her protective coveralls, she carefully pocketed a few proton grenades. Although Holtz assured her that the bazooka she shot was indeed ready for field use, she avoided taking the over-sized, over-powered weapon. The last thing they needed was to draw bad publicity and put their funding at risk. Once she had everything on and ready, she marched to the Ecto-1, where Holtz was already in the driver’s seat. Holtz pounded the outside of the door.

“C’mon, already!”

Abby rolled her eyes and slipped into the passenger seat. “What’s the rush?”

“Incident at the children’s hospital.”

“Shit,” Abby said before sliding her window down and leaning out to yell, “Hurry up!”

As Patty and Erin trundled down to the car, Abby eyed the bounce in Holtz’s leg. She almost didn’t trust that Holtz would wait for their crew to fully enter the car and buckle up before screeching down the asphalt. Thankfully, she let them at least get their doors closed and then swerved out into traffic. With their siren blaring, they were able to get through downtown reasonably quickly.

The only hitch in the operation was that there were three ghosts rather the single entity they expected. They caught the first near the entrance as it tossed vases of colorful flowers from the gift store. Abby snagged a tattered rose when a sudden explosion in the upper levels alerted them to the fact that they weren’t done, yet. They crammed into the elevator, rode up six floors, and deposited Patty and Holtz.

“We’ll head to the top and work our way down. No telling which floor this bad boy’s on.”

Holtz flipped her a light salute before the elevator doors closed. Being in close quarters with Erin was nothing to worry about. She’d done it before, and she’d do it again. In fact, she liked being in tight proximity with the other woman. Erin smiled at her, and her pulse sped up in a totally friendly sort of way.

“What are the odds that two ghosts would just show up out of nowhere at a children’s hospital?”

“Maybe they’ve been here a while, but something upset them.” Erin gestured to a poster on the wall that boasted about the east wing’s new renovations.

“You’re smart, y’know that, Gilbert?”

Erin fluffed her hair and flushed. “Thank you, Dr. Yates.”

“I hope none of the kids have gotten hurt.”

“I don’t think so--otherwise the hospital would be in more of an uproar. We’d be fighting past all sorts of nurses and doctors.”

“Let’s keep it that way,” Abby replied.

The elevator trembled to a halt and opened, and they entered the top floor. A quick gaze about confirmed that there was no spectral trouble on floor twelve. Neither was there a problem on eleven or ten. On nine, however, they had to drop to the ground immediately to avoid having a cot tossed at their heads. Erin pointed her wand at the form of a weeping little boy but hesitated.

“I feel bad about shooting a child.”

“He can’t feel it.”

“I know…”

Abby leveled her weapon and did her best to look firm and resolved. “We can’t just leave him as a ghost. He’s causing problems here.”

“Can I try talking to him?”

“I… Yes, but just know that I’ll shoot at the first sign of funny business.”

She watched Erin move forward slowly with hands outstretched. The little ghost tracked her movements as well, flickering ever so slightly until she was kneeling at his side. She smiled at him, the sort of expression that really melted Abby’s heart. The thing about Erin was she could be tough when necessary, but there was just so much softness. Abby was a bit brash and outspoken, but Erin had always been there to temper her.

After a few minutes of quiet conversation, which Abby could not hear, Erin slowly reached for the miniature ghost trap attached to the bottom of her pack. It blazed open, and the boy tearfully stepped inside. When it snapped shut, Erin grazed her fingers over the top and sighed. Abby hurried over, placing her hand on Erin’s lower back.

“That was amazing.”

“He was just sad and lonely. I can relate.” Erin dabbed at her eyes. “Well, I promised him we would help him find peace. I intend to make good on that promise.”

“If anyone can do that, it’s you.”

0-0-0

“And then we were like WAPOW!” Holtz slammed her hands against the steering wheel. “Ghost down! Ghost down!”

Erin leaned her elbow against the juncture between door and window. “Holtz, those ghosts were children. They might have responded to reason.”

“Children? Heck no. Our guy on the fifth floor was some sort of janitor.” Patty huffed. “We wouldn’t just straight up suplex a kid.”

“Well,” Holtz hummed. “I think it would depend on the kid. How big of a kid are we talking about? Is his favorite class gym?”

The car rolled to the curb, and all save Holtz jumped out to unload their equipment. They carried the materials inside, although Erin came to an abrupt halt at the door. Standing at Kevin’s desk and looking mighty perturbed about it was Phil. Patty easily snagged the bag from Erin’s shoulder and hurried away. Abby knew she ought to leave Erin to deal with this, but she couldn’t stand by and--

“I’ve got this,” Erin said quietly. She pushed gently on Abby’s back. “I’ll be fine.”

Abby glared at Phil for two long seconds and then marched after Patty. From a distance, she could watch the interaction, but just as with the ghost an hour earlier, she couldn’t hear what was said. Erin looked angry, but Abby supposed that was better than defeated or sad. Angry was a welcome change to how Erin used to look when Phil interrupted her life.

“I don’t need you!”

Erin’s voice carried across the firehouse; Patty stared stolidly down at a history book, but Abby refused to look away. Her heart thudded madly, and she couldn’t put into words how proud she was of Erin. Finally, Erin shoved Phil’s shoulder and gestured to the door. Phil opened his mouth, but Abby got the feeling he didn’t actually say anything before Erin pointed at Kevin, who immediately stood and towered over their uninvited guest. With their gentle giant of a puppy looming, Phil had no choice. He jabbed a finger at Erin but fled.

Erin made sure he was gone and then headed upstairs without a word.

Abby glanced at Patty and then to the stairwell. On the one hand, she wanted to give Erin space to process what just happened. On the other, she desperately wanted to offer Erin comfort as well. Brushing by Holtz, who entered after parking the Ecto, she followed Erin to the second floor, and then to the roof when she discovered the second floor was empty.

“Are you okay?”

Erin turned slightly and pushed wind-blown hair from her face. “I’m… I’m better than I was before. I don’t know if I’m okay.”

“I get that. Anything you want to talk about?”

“I feel like a broken record.”

“I happen to like listening to the same song over and over again. Used to drive Holtz mad.”

Erin rubbed the back of her neck and stared up at the cloudless sky. The sun was just heading down toward the horizon, and the night air gradually cooled around them. “He just brought up the same stuff again--that I should consider myself lucky that he still wants me. That I’m worthless.”

“Next time he comes around, I might just have to deck him.”

“And I might not stop you,” Erin murmured. She stepped closer. “Do you know why he didn’t get to me today?”

“No.”

“Because no matter what he said, I knew… I know you love me. And I can’t be that awful a person if someone like you loves me.”

Abby wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. To hear Erin openly talk about things was exciting as it was nerve-wracking. She appreciated that Erin accepted her feelings as fact. “Yeah, well, I am a pretty good judge of character.”

“You are. So, thank you, Abby. I don’t know who I’d be without you.”

“You’d be a kick ass scientist. You don’t need me to be great.”

“No, I guess not.” Erin cupped her cheek carefully. “But I want you.”

Abby felt like she was dreaming as Erin leaned down and pressed their lips together.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It's dangerous to fall in love  
> But I want to burn with you tonight"

Abby tentatively settled her hands on Erin’s waist. She wanted to hold Erin tight and close and never let go, but she figured that level of desire could spook the other woman away. Instead, she kept her grip light as Erin’s soft lips glided over hers. Finally, when Erin pulled back, Abby followed for a centimeter or two and then paused.

“I’m sorry,” Erin whispered, her eyes roving Abby’s face. “That was inappropriate.”

“Don’t be sorry. Unless you regret it?”

“No. I don’t. At all.”

Abby released her grip and brushed the hair away from Erin’s temples. She loved the light dusting of freckles over Erin’s nose, visible only from this close. “I don’t mind, then. I mean, I am curious. Did that mean something?”

Erin closed her eyes. “Yes.”

Although she was dying for a real answer, Abby accepted the single word as a promise for a lengthier discussion later. Rather than push for more, she kissed the corner of Erin’s mouth and pulled away.

“Want to go back inside? I could make you a mean cup of coffee.”

“I’m going to stay out here for a little while. Just to think.”

Abby examined Erin’s expression, which looked rather pensive, and nodded curtly. Rather than worry about what Erin was considering, she chose to assume the best. “Sounds good. Take whatever time you need.”

0-0-0

Holtz punched the air and twirled in a circle. “I called it.”

“Only because I’ve kept you up to date on what was going on. You’d be totally in the dark if I hadn’t.”

“I have eyes,” Holtz retorted, ignoring the glare Abby sent her. “I can see what’s happening.”

“What?”

“There’s magic in the air.” Holtz winked. “With all this romantic atmosphere, disaster’s in the air.”

“Oh, shut up.” Abby bent back over her work. “When you’re done singing Lion King songs and want to actually work, get back to me.”

“Oh, c’mon. I’m only singing because this is good news.”

“What’s good news?” Patty crested the stairs and eyed her two friends warily. She carried two coffees, one of which she handed to Holtz.

“Abby got her first kiss.”

“It wasn’t my first kiss.”

“With Erin.”

Patty’s face lit up. She clapped Abby on the shoulder and grinned. “Seriously? Took y’all long enough.”

“Look, I don’t think she’s ready for everyone to be talking about it, or us, y’know?”

“Gotcha.”

“The only reason Holtz knows is because she guessed. And now you know.” Abby gripped her temples and sighed. “I just don’t want this to get around before she’s ready. So, please, don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.” Patty shot Holtz a stern look until Holtz acquiesced.

“Arrrright.”

“Besides, what if she decides that she likes me, but she doesn’t want to date? I’d want to die if everyone knew, and then she changed her mind. I mean, I’d get it, and it’s totally her decision, but…”

The door to the roof creaked open, and Erin stepped inside. She paused when she realized her friends were all staring at her. She offered them a tentative smile before approaching. Holtz waggled her eyebrows at Erin and winked.

“Did I interrupt something?”

“No.”

Holtz said, “Nope. Would you and Abby like some alone time to discuss your very special feelings?”

“Holtzmann!”

Erin flushed but smiled. “Actually, yes.”

Abby’s heart hammered as Erin took her hand. At Holtz’s coaxing, they ended up in Abby’s room with the door shut. Abby pressed her ear to the door and listened for several seconds, just to make sure Holtz wasn’t waiting just outside. She loved her friend, but there were some things she wanted to keep to herself.

“She gone?”

“I think so.”

“Good.” Erin patted the bed and waited for Abby to sit beside her.

“I take it the time outside helped?”

“Yes.”

Not wanting to rush or push, Abby fidgeted with her fingers. “Good, good.”

“I love you a lot, you know that, right?”

Abby nodded shortly. If there was one thing she tacitly understood, in spite disagreements and too many years apart, it was that Erin cared deeply for her. “Yeah, of course. You’re my best friend, and I’m yours.”

“I just have one concern about dating.”

“What?” Abby couldn’t stop how quickly her head shot up.

“I overheard a bit, before I came inside. You’re worried I’ll leave you. Or that I won’t want you.”

Abby’s throat felt too thick. “I know you’re here now, but sometimes, I just remember how bad it felt when you left before. I know rationally that you won’t leave again, but… I’m still afraid. I’m sorry.”

“It’s better you tell me.” Erin touches her chin gently. “To be honest, I’m still scared that you’re going to wake up one day and realize that I’m not what you want.”

“Oh, Erin.”

“I didn’t tell you to fish for validation. I want you to know you’re not the only one who’s afraid.”

Abby smiled. “Would you maybe want to work on it together?”

“Yes. That’s what I decided upstairs. I don’t want to minimize our doubts, but I think… I think we’re a good team. And we can do it, if we want to.”

When they kissed this time, there was no surprise. Abby held Erin to her chest and nested their lips together. Erin sank against her, one hand against the wall to keep her steady and the other fisted in Abby’s shirt. Abby parted her lips and tugged gently on Erin’s lower lip, until Erin let her tongue slip in. Slowly, Abby lowered them into lying down, with Erin pressed delightfully atop her. Erin slipped a knee between her legs, and she moaned into Erin’s mouth.

“Too soon?” Erin whispered.

Abby shook her head. “I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.”

Erin’s cheeks flushed as she ran a finger down Abby’s nose to her lips. “You’re gonna make my ego inflate.”

“Good. It deserves to be at least three times as big as it currently is.”

When Erin pushed thigh against groin again, Abby relaxed into the intimacy. She let Erin carefully explore her body, first by pushing up her shirt, and then by removing the garment entirely. As she undid Erin’s blouse, Erin’s hand caught her wrist. Abby waited patiently while a series of emotions tumbled across Erin’s face.

“I… I’m not…” She sighed. “Phil said I was too bony.”

“I’m not Phil,” Abby replied. “But we can leave your shirt on, if you want. Whatever makes you most comfortable.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.” 

Abby leaned up for another kiss, which Erin gratefully gave. She carefully re-did the buttons on Erin’s blouse and then slid her hands down. Watching Erin’s reaction closely, she slipped her fingers under the hem and touched the taut skin of Erin’s belly. Erin nodded shakily, so Abby continued her blind exploration. By the time she found Erin’s breasts, Erin quaked above her, so she was gentle. She rolled a nipple and enjoyed the flushed hue of Erin’s cheeks.

“May I take your pants off?”

Erin hesitated but nodded. Abby waited a moment longer, so Erin leaned back and shimmied out of them herself. Abby examined the expanse of skin revealed to her and grinned. Phil was clueless if he had the privilege of looking at Erin and hadn’t been satisfied. Abby placed her hands on Erin’s hips until Erin grabbed one and guided it to the apex of her thighs. Cupping the warmth she found there, Abby moved her other hand to Erin’s cheek. Erin ground down on her hand, and Abby got the idea that she was indeed wanted.

“Please, Abby.”

Abby decided that she was done waiting. She twisted and rolled Erin under her and then pulled Erin’s panties down. Erin immediately covered her face with an arm, so Abby took a moment to kiss Erin’s inner thighs and murmur soft validations. Later, she’d want to look into Erin’s eyes; for now, however, she understood Erin’s need to hide.

“You can stop me whenever you need.”

Without further ado, Abby brushed the flat of her tongue against Erin’s clit. Erin keened, and Abby dipped her tongue lower. She kept a light grip on Erin’s stomach, holding Erin flat and as still as possible. The longer she worked, the more Erin bucked against her mouth.

“Ab...Abby!” Erin’s hands landed on her head and tugged at her hair.

She pulled back and wiped her mouth. “Okay? Did you come?”

Erin took several deep breaths, nodding wordlessly. Abby kissed the peak of Erin’s pubic mound and then gathered Erin into her arms. Erin nestled against her, and she stroked her hand down Erin’s back. Eyes closed, she hummed contentedly and relished in the quiet moment. When Erin kissed her neck, she smiled.

“I love you, Er.”

“I love you, Ab.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "So come on now  
> Strike the match, strike the match now  
> We're a perfect match, perfect somehow  
> We were meant for one another"


End file.
